Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML
Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark, I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hk_fml 9
wtf. You couldve gotten seriously hurt D:
alexandraa_fml 0
Bahaha, maybe he'll saran wrap the door frame next time? Oh the vast amount of pranks that could be pulled!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
popatia 0
Ugh That sucks
katsuku 5
THIS WEBSITE IS INCREDIBLY SEXIST! EVERY TIME A GUY DOES SOMETHING STUPID, FOR EXAMPLE: A GUY BREAK UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND FOR HER NOT CARING ENOUGH IT'S ALWAYS HIS FAULT, BUT IF A GIRL DOES THE EXACT SAME THING SHE GETS SYMPATHY FROM EVERYON ON HERE. YOU SHOULD ALL FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT YOURSELF FOR BEING SO DEGRADING TOWARDS MEN. YOU WOULD HAVE A SHIT FIT IF A GUY WAS BEING A SEXIST PIG TO YOU, WHY WOULD IT BE ANY DIFFERENT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
popatia 0
Katsuku your comment makes no sense and has no relation to this FML!
lil_cig 0
Clearly, typing out your reply in capital letters was the way to get your point across. ...now go make me a sammich!
katsuku 5
It doesn't have anything to do with this FML, but the site in general. The latest post seemed the most appropriate place to put it since most people won't check older posts where the sexism is especially prevallent. Also caps lock makes people stop to read. Normal text doesn't.
borabora1991 0
please dont yell. also, im not sure what this particular post has to do with sexism, but if youre looking for an example of fmlers getting onto girls for being stupid and doing things that they get YDI's for, you should go a few pages back and check out the comments on the "Twizzlers" post. The commenters definitely ripped that girl a new one. and yes, if guys do something degrading towards women most of us will freak out. and if a girl does something degrading towards a guy then he should freak out, but seeing as how most guys dont freak out (which is their choice), your argument is somewhat pointless. unless youre gay, in which case you would be offended by women coming onto you...but since i do not know you, i cannot say that is the case.
Gonza 0
^ I lol'd
The_Nothing 0
Does talking in all caps make you feel important, #6?
Intellectualist 0
Wow...the voice in my head is positively SCREAMING. Pleasem let go of the caps, for everybody's sanity. A question to everyone: When you read things in your head, if they are capitalised, do you shout in your head?
LemonadePink 0
Maybe if men weren't such assholes to women in the first place, we'd have no reason to be degrading towards men? Douche.
fudrick 0
Maybe if women weren't useless, stupid bitches who can't do anything but cook, clean, and give ******** then men wouldn't be such assholes. YAY STEREOTYPES
jonnyplayzaguita 0
suks for yoy not for your room mate lol sounds like something i should try
Dixie_Normous 0
Guess you should cut that shit out, eh? ;-)
xCrackerx 3
The wink doesn't make up for your condescending remark, asshole.
ByteCarter97 0
Seriously, it's a lot like someone who has never had an addiction or nervous habit telling someone who does, "why don't you just stop it?"
Me_needs_aid 1
wat a *****!!
alexandraa_fml 0
Bahaha, maybe he'll saran wrap the door frame next time? Oh the vast amount of pranks that could be pulled!
nonotme 0
"Today, my roommates thought it would be funny to have me hurt while i slept, so i decided to wire a tennis ball shooter to turn on when they wake up. LML" ^this is what i would do, except depending on how much you hate them, maybe make it a baseball shooter.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
He was just trying to tell you that you need to take a trip to the dentist.
hk_fml 9
wtf. You couldve gotten seriously hurt D:
akayou 0
PHIRST!!! 1906 baby
popatia 0
Only on FML is being 11th 1st :D
lil_cig 0
@11 ...phail?
borabora1991 0
haha, very nice. also to the one above about the sammich. im not sure what it means, but it made me laugh anyways. :)
PATastrophy102 0
its nothing really hes just stealing a dudes like that he saw on youtube :)
akayou 0
no