Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after blacking out from fever, I found out that the reason I've been feeling so sick is that I've somehow come down with pneumonia, strep, and the common cold all at the same time. FML
Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML
Today, I was recently diagnosed with mononucleosis. This means that I'm really tired. I had been planning a trip with my sister and my cousin, but I didn’t wake up this morning at 7 because of the Mono, and they didn’t bother to wake me up. They went without me, to all my favorite places, leaving me at home with nothing to do. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML
Today, I found out that all together, I have mono, strep, a UTI, and a enlarged spleen. How am I going to tell my friend that I made out with his dad, and now his dad is sick? This man gives his newborn kisses every night. FML
Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
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Top comments
Blackcatluck 19
Um, I think it's time to check for pervy ghosts.
somethingblue 6
Mono doesn't start taking effect for like a month or two later. So it all depends on what you were doing then. But I feel your pain. Feel better!!
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Comments (65)
isabellasimone 18
That's awful. Feel better soon, OP!
Sports_guy3 28
[No comment]
incoherentrmblr 22
Mano y mono.
Blackcatluck 19
Um, I think it's time to check for pervy ghosts.
cakefete2 31
Like, casper, the too-damn-friendly ghost.
somethingblue 6
Mono doesn't start taking effect for like a month or two later. So it all depends on what you were doing then. But I feel your pain. Feel better!!
jemiller226 13
Not even what she was doing. Just being around someone who had it is enough. The best part: if you get it as a little kid, you don't generally get anything more than cold symptoms. So, moral of the story, get it as a kid and be a carrier for everyone else you ever meet!
perdix 31
Aw, you got the Kissing Disease without kissing? I hope you don't get screwed the same way with herpes.
ambitiousnygrl 17
Even as a joke, that's not funny. Not to mention that mono is airborne, so you can get it just from touching an infected surface, like a doorknob and then putting your hand near your nose or mouth.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
#11 this is a comedy site where people post their funny and tragic stories and people make creative and funny comments. Lighten up.
b1krd00d 3
Mono is not airborne, It is a direct contact viral illness that comes from bodily fluids, most commonly saliva. People like you are the reason you should not believe everything you read on the internet. I am a medical professional and it was most likely in the incubating period, a co-current infection cause by a weakened immune system in direct response to the mono or a misdiagnosis.
ohSNAPyall 27
Sounds like someone has herpes.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
11- Are you an asshat? Mono is not airborne first of all, it happens through direct contact. Secondly, this is a comedy site, for people to post JOKES. If you want something serious I would recommend Experience Project. Have a nice day.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Guys, guys, lets quit arguing. Let's just ask DocBastard. He should know.
shyeahh_fml 19
11 - I don't understand how your example of touching an infected surface supports your claim that it is airborne.
DocBastard 40
Mononucleosis is caused by the Epstein-Barr virus, and it's transmitted by saliva (which is why it's called the kissing disease). But you can also contract it by touching something that is contaminated with saliva, and then placing your now-contaminated hand in your mouth, nose, or eyes. It is NOT airborne, and is actually less contagious than the common cold.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
This is why Doc is on FML. Thank you.
ambitiousnygrl 17
According to Mayo clinic, mono is found in a person's saliva which means it can be spread through a cough or a sneeze. Granted it can't survive that long in the air, but if an infected person doesn't cover their mouth when sneezing and someone nearby breaths it in, they can become infected. So, although less contagious than a cold or the flu, it is still classified as being airborne. Go on their website if you don't believe me.
mk8833 9
Mono doesn't have to come from kissing, someone with mono could've coughed into their hand, transmitting their infected saliva onto whatever they touch, and thus, what other strangers may touch, giving them mono. I should know, I got mono at 11, and I hadn't kissed anyone at 11.
VengeanceChicken 12
Someone give this man a medal.
tigermik 18
What effects does the virus have on a person?
j_729 18
Haha really he's arguing with doc. An undergrad in English arguing with a trauma surgeon
ElizabethNL93 20
Ah, mono.. The "**** you" of sore throats.
noobsatin 19
those are some weak genes.
ambitiousnygrl 17
maybe your Dr didn't catch the mono the first time. Anyway, feel better!
awkwardloveannie 28
do you sleepwalk? or have a ghost with a greater social life than you?
Jasmeent11 15
Mono sucks. At least you get to stay at home and sleep though?..
mentallizzard 19
your house is infected, burn it with fire! :0