Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML
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Top comments
Dixie_Normous 0
I dunno I think I'd rather have mono than death.
Peroxide 3
I too almost died from choking once but luckily I had my handy juicebox with me. The juicebox was able to make a small incision in my trachea and insert an empty pen thus saving my life. That juicebox and I went on to become the best of friends and we travelled the world until one day I accidently stood on him and he exploded. RIP Juicebox. I'll miss you buddy!
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Comments (128)
dave202 0
Okay everyone here complaining about how the OP couldn't have been choking: technically chocking means to have something stuck in you windpipe, but people also say it when they have something stuck in their esophagus because it feels like you are choking and that's most likely what happened to the OP.
IAmBridgette 0
So what? Mono isn't THAT big of a deal. I had it without knowing. My doctor said I had traces of it in my system after it passed when I went to get tested for diabetes.
cherry_blossom 0
Mono is very different for different people. When I had it, I was only out of school for about a week. I have a friend who was in the hospital for over six months with it. Certain people are just carriers, too -- no symptoms. It just depends on your genetics and immune system.
FaceMelterx2530 4
Anyone else notice that mono isn't contagious?
gothrockerkid 0
Total mood killer. FYL.
FYL08 0
whats mono short for
kosherkraut 5
Mononucleosis
Sam_13161821 0
Do you have a stutter? Nobobody. Lol.
whatstehtimemrwo 0
Holy moly
cindayy77 0
nobobody? never heard that b4 xD