Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML
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Top comments
Dixie_Normous 0
I dunno I think I'd rather have mono than death.
Peroxide 3
I too almost died from choking once but luckily I had my handy juicebox with me. The juicebox was able to make a small incision in my trachea and insert an empty pen thus saving my life. That juicebox and I went on to become the best of friends and we travelled the world until one day I accidently stood on him and he exploded. RIP Juicebox. I'll miss you buddy!
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Comments (128)
Peroxide 3
Did you die??
Peroxide 3
I too almost died from choking once but luckily I had my handy juicebox with me. The juicebox was able to make a small incision in my trachea and insert an empty pen thus saving my life. That juicebox and I went on to become the best of friends and we travelled the world until one day I accidently stood on him and he exploded. RIP Juicebox. I'll miss you buddy!
allmidnighteyes 11
That was... beautiful :,)
jts2 3
*sniff* .. Indeed. R.I.P., life-saving juice box. R.I.P.
shankzilla 0
op is a drama queen
prettyboy82 0
What is the big deal about being gay on here? And why do so many get pissed off about it when someone proclaims it?
amc597 28
Because it's annoying when people point it out instead of commenting about the FML.
vod_fml 0
you should know that about 80% of people get mono while their kids without knowing, and you can only get it once. So there is only 20% chance that you will get it. Plus you mostly get it from very deep kisses. Drinking from the same glass or jucebox as somebody else is a very unlikely way to get it but it is still possible... best of luck :)
nm22395 0
A life threatening illness
mendel_fml 0
I don't believe mononucleosis is life-threatening.
wolfpackchick10 0
Nah. It can be if you seriously mess with it...but it's pretty rare that someone actually dies from it. But I have it now and there are things I'm not allowed to do right now because it could lead to the eruption of the enlarged spleen.
silly_cerise 0
Mono itself generally not so bad, but if you develop any complications it can be pretty awful. I'm actually still getting over mono -- my case of it was especially bad, and I developed hepatitis that I'm still being treated for. Between my swollen spleen and my swollen liver, I could barely fit anything in my stomach for three weeks, and I was out of work for two months on doctor's orders. Odds are, the OP won't get it. But if she does, it'll really put the stupid, minor discomfort of choking on a chip into perspective.
mendel_fml 0
Info on mono is at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infectious_mononucleosis . It's actually good that the OP was told, so the doctor knows not to use antibiotics when/if it breaks out in 4-7 weeks. It's definitely not life-fuckingly bad to have contracted it, though contracting it by kissing would presumably be preferable. ;)
aussieoioioi 0
hahaha Did anyone else notice they said 'nobobody' :D Wooo!
CheshireHalli 19
To th guys that are saying she wasn't choking: Is it possible that it went down the wrong path in her throat (can't remember the name)? I know when that happens, liqids help, and it feels like I'm choking.
zaknuttall 0
Fake. I had mono earlier this year and the doctors said I wasn't allowed to leave the house until it wasn't contagious. Your friend may have had it, but it won't matter since schools or doctors won't let you go to school until its better..
Hlessirah 3
It might actually depend on the school, becase when I was in high school, a friend had mono, and she still went to school.
myfriend_youfail 3
It depends on the severity of the case and the school. I had mono when I was 11 and I went to school the entire time. I felt like hell, I was tired all the time, but I still went to class. I was told I only had to stay home if I developed a fever or vomited.
sjks 0
doctors cant KEEP you from going to school...i still went a few hours a day to keep from falling too behind. it's a lot less contagious than the common cold or flu, there's no need to be quarantined not to mention you're contagious before and after you have symptoms