Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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Top comments
slick5880 22
There is a special bond between a man and his nuts.
flailingCheese 5
Make a thong of peanuts.
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Comments (95)
estes816 9
Sometimes you feel like a nut...... Sometimes you don't.......
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
He must be gay.
saksxalmo 20
I totally agree. Even if they delete both of our comments, at least now you know yours got read. :)
LightlyFalling 1
Well, I think he'd be more excited about you in the thong (;
bryan788 29
next time wear only the thong, if he still wants the peanuts then he is not right in the head.
conqueror57 11
You gave a guy the choice between food or the same old thing he's been banging; what did you expect?!?!
CassadySoCal 1
The thong doesn't taste good, think about it. Plus, it's just going to end up on the floor anyway, so why care.
schomes 0
Well guys dont usually give a shit about a thong.
mufasa1026 6
Hobestly. Don't worry about it. Dont come in between guys and food. Some will usually choose food over sex. They can get it later.
Darkme 1
he probably was thinking omg thong than peanuts