Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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Top comments
slick5880 22
There is a special bond between a man and his nuts.
flailingCheese 5
Make a thong of peanuts.
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Comments (95)
harkerk87 3
It's a sign he likes his nuts!!!!
GetTheFuckOut 7
Why would you expect him to be excited over a thong? Big whoop. It's underwear with a string that rides up your ass crack all day.
kaymi 17
Men like to see women in boy-shorts and in their dress shirt and tie. Once you become a woman, you'll learn about leaving something to the imagination. :)
dwc2134 5
Sweeping generalizations about what men like, yeah that'll get him rock hard. Thongs are great, boyshorts are great, but in the end they're coming off.
kaymi 17
Everyone has over generalized about something. I'm just talking bullcrap as I sporadically do on here.
geod69 8
Well you can't eat thongs ow can you
Kaleigh090 11
Maybe one of those edible thongs would have made him a bit more excited. We're always told the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
guy24 9
Yeah, how is this a FML? You bought his favorite brand of peanuts and he was excited about it, other than being exciting about new strange cloths.
delta1987 2
Clothing does nothing for us... He was excited for the peanuts because it's food. Why would he be excited about you putting clothes on? ;)
jessughka 10
No, but he can eat what's underneath it.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You said they were his favorite peanuts.
M3LAKNEE 3
SQUIRREL!
Frank_H83 6
LOL awesome!