Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was at a supermarket when I saw a guy waving enthusiastically at me. I waved back, smiling like an idiot. He kept waving, so I waved harder, even giving him the ole finger guns. Then his actual friend walked up behind me, and I realized he wasn’t waving at me at all. The cashier witnessed everything and whispered, “Yikes.” FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
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Top comments
iSativa 24
Like the overly-attached girlfriend meme, there should be an overly protective father meme.
jpsullivan 36
well thats not overkill in the slightest
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Comments (79)
AliGInTheHouse 24
People are a bit too caring and overprotective sometimes, especially in Wales.
rachel8234 3
you dont wave and smile.... you say hello introduce your dad and say see ya later. keep it moving. in a parents eyes it looks like yall have something going on... hes just doing his job as a parent. alot of people would say your dad is overprotective but thats only because he wants the best for you. alot of girls dont have that.. be grateful.
NoMapToBuy 14
That is not a threat lmao, you're being pc af, it was a harmless joke that I will without a doubt play on my children - he was just being funny and giving them shit as a parent can
TallMist 32
If he was joking, it wouldn't be on FML, because, since the OP clearly uses FML, she has a sense of humor. So, yes, "Touch her and I'll kill you" IS a murder threat.
bubbles5810 12
He's just being a good father.
heyyitskaylee 7
My dad's friend sent my dad a YouTube video called "Top ten guns to scare off your daughter's date". I feel your pain.
NoMapToBuy 14
You're boring - he's not being over protective, he's being hilarious. What you should have done is give shit back (as it is meant to be but you're insensitive)
lbanks_fml 10
I'll kill you..... ????? Like Achmed?
NamelessFace 22
Silence!
BamBAmGG 14
Your dad is a crack up (': haha
fantasyworld 39
The whole "father threatening a boy their daughter likes" is getting annoying.
lucasj2345 7
yiur father sounds like a dick