Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was at a supermarket when I saw a guy waving enthusiastically at me. I waved back, smiling like an idiot. He kept waving, so I waved harder, even giving him the ole finger guns. Then his actual friend walked up behind me, and I realized he wasn’t waving at me at all. The cashier witnessed everything and whispered, “Yikes.” FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
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Top comments
iSativa 24
Like the overly-attached girlfriend meme, there should be an overly protective father meme.
jpsullivan 36
well thats not overkill in the slightest
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Comments (79)
countlesswonders 10
sounds like something I'd say to any of my sisters boyfriends
limabeans101029 21
You'd say "touch her and I'll kill you" to your sister's boyfriend? Wow I feel bad for your sister (assuming she isn't very young). I'd just find it incredibly annoying if my brother did that.
kowgirl_1 3
Brothering done right
slimashli 7
damn.... I hope your not like 17 and having that problem
DewIchigo 17
Wahahahahhaha that's so cutee
patrickalamo 48
Just a dad doing his job
kalanthroxic 4
So a dad's job is to damage their children's social network with (technically illegal) threats of murder?
Carcalilly 8
Why does this have so many downvotes? I see it as sarcasm or a joke...
annarcheer 19
he's your father he's going to try to protect you.
limabeans101029 21
I'm pretty sure she doesn't need to be "protected" from a wave. Even if it was intended to be romantic, he still shouldn't have done that.
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Is that a challenge I hear? Well challenge accepted, sir!!!
sullivankeara 25
At least he cares
Matheo_fml 21
Next time wave at an enemy of yours. Or try winking.
NiallsWifey 4
Sounds like my dad
bassfisher100 23
maybe your friends shouldn't wave so romantically (._.)/ but seriously. that really sucks :c I once had a girlfriend who's father said he would scalp me if I looked at her the wrong way