Today, at a Starbucks in China, when it was my turn to order, the handsome cashier locked eyes with me and asked me in perfect English what I wanted. All words in all languages that I can speak, including how to speak English, my mother tongue, left my brain as I stared into his beautiful eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I went to the Asian Grocery. I politely smiled, bellowed, “Hello!” and kind of waved to the cashier as I walked in, to which he gave me a blank, scared-for-his-life kinda look. Turns out he was actually just another customer. FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I've been there before, You spend enough time practicing how to say something in mandarin and when you get talked to in English your brain goes on a holiday trying to figure out if it's rude to reply in Mandarin.
RichardPencil 32
Ugh, so, no coffee for you? **** your life, indeed! I'm getting a caffeine-withdrawal headache just thinking about it! And why did he speak to you in English? Because you're white? That's so racist!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Ugh, so, no coffee for you? **** your life, indeed! I'm getting a caffeine-withdrawal headache just thinking about it! And why did he speak to you in English? Because you're white? That's so racist!!!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I've been there before, You spend enough time practicing how to say something in mandarin and when you get talked to in English your brain goes on a holiday trying to figure out if it's rude to reply in Mandarin.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Many people in Asia are fluent in English as well. It's a required class they have to take in Japan.