Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML
Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML
Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML
Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML
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Top comments
ThatSucksAlotYDI 0
good going, dipshit
icyfire617 10
wow.. I'm 13 and even I'm not that excited to see that movie.
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Comments (172)
baby_gore 0
haha dragonball is sooo much cooler than Kung fu panda.
jmac82 0
could you be any more of a ******* loser?!? you totally deserve this
Mish44 3
bahaha
Vaesive 0
Moron, ydi
bjamin343 0
smooth move jackass
Aubii_07 0
Hey you sound like one of those grown men who lives in their moms basement till their 35 :D
BeachSurfer94 0
you fail already for wanting to see Kung Fu panda 2
gondor17 0
wait. at work? how old are you exactly?
S4ndsurph3r 4
sounds like a youtube video i saw
That0therguy 4
And that's the story of some overly exited fat person.