Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML
Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, I pushed my spinning clothesline around and walked off like a badass. A loose wire then whipped around the back of my head and caught me in the eye. I'm just so badass. FML
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
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Top comments
TwoXMike 14
Just remember grasshopper, Wax on, Wax off
HowAreYouToday 34
Just karate chop your neighbor.
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Comments (77)
HowAreYouToday 34
Just karate chop your neighbor.
Nordrag 26
With OP's current record she might end up knocking down their neighbors whole house.
thatkidhesh 11
time to switch sports OP
BabyGirlJr1 11
because shes so good at karate
theworldismad 10
everybody was Kung Fu fighting
tjv3 10
Crane kick- no can defend
TwoXMike 14
Just remember grasshopper, Wax on, Wax off
TeenieRee_2032 27
Life... Ain't that a kick in the... Lamp?
RodzillaX 30
B for effort.
MyNameIsViet 15
C- for execution.
Codezlol 21
C flat for delivery
GoodLookingGeese 10
D for existence
Sangoma 8
three in one move, no need to perfect that round house kick , also creepy neighbor
alycion 39
And people wonder why a lot of karate courses start out with the boring stuff like stretching.
JACKxRAWR 22
Sounds to me like OP is more of a DIY Sensei.
_daniellesays_ 10
That's when you start creeping on him/her to discover/comment on their in-home embarrassment causing habits. Everybody has them.
stolencookie 17
I think you just may be predisposed to stalking... Might want to get that checked.
jw90 18
Pick up your jacket!
RodzillaX 30
You can't tell me what to do. I never hang my jacket.
Nordrag 26
I tried something stupid unprepared and someone made fun of me FML. Why is there a lamp and curtains and shit in the area you want to "try karate"?
MGITSWFTC 17
What I don't understand is how OP decided that it would be a good idea to completely forego a formal education in Karate and just try to kick some shit in their house
tygerarmy 35
Unless the OP started taking Karate in a school and then tried to continue practicing at home she has not tried Karate. Just flinging your leg around and calling it a roundhouse kick does not make it one.
TiroC 25
Just do the crane on him or the pinky finger!
OneGirlTwoCups 13
And that helps..... How?
EvilUndead 9
1. Simple moves are more efficient. 2. If you don't have trainer or books, that's not "karate". That's "making fool of yourself".