Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could check her ass out as she walked away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML
Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
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Top comments
beehardxcore 26
Your grandpa is a badass. Hats off to him!
Snowkeys 11
I hope my grandson will do it without being asked.
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Comments (123)
Mech1989 13
I don't see the problem...
THExistentialist 13
she had to have been close enough to hear him if she was close enough for him to see her ass! You could have said, "Sorry, my grandfather doesn't get out much. I'd like to make it up to you, what's your number?"
littlemsweirdo 12
That sounds even more creepy.
BrianneAlex 10
Yeah that would totally solve the situation.
THExistentialist 13
does NOBODY on this site age over 13, or does nobody have a sense of "oh, sarcasm. it must be a joke."?
daminantion 14
Existentialist.. Even 13 year olds are brave enough to list their age whereas you do not. Perhaps unlisted age should be cut off as well?
hannaaaahr 33
Nobody on FML having a sense of sarcasm? I think you should look around more if you honestly think that. Also, that 'joke' wasn't funny, sarcasm or not.
BjgUsername 12
I love how when the joke gets buried you say it was sarcasm
SamCat 21
I feel so dirty and uncomfortable when an older person looks at me like that. I feel for you Op, my granpa is a perverted old man too with other girls. I hate it.
whyusofat 17
Wtf are you talking about?!
interesting33 37
I think it is okay to do it discreetly. But it does make us feel uncomfortable when people stare at us
chuckcloninger 12
Huh? Why? I just don't get it.
Warden1986 16
He only wanted to turn and look, because she had "juicy" on her ass.
emeraldisle 30
Your grandfather is a brilliant man. I salute him.
Rosemary072098 11
He's old! Let his last few years be of peace and happiness! :)
Curtar2 18
he likes what he likes.
old09 11
Listen to advice he gives you. You don't get to live that old unless you know how to live. Plus who doesn't like a nice rump?
chanellgymnast 17
Dirty old man.
phatdaddy62 23
There are a lot of us dirty old men out there!
vivvajulianne 5
....
ColbyGB 13
Old man's still got it
Sunkistlover718 21
Quit complaining; you got the opportunity to ogle her ass, too. Don't pretend like you didn't like it.