Today, I missed my daughter’s engagement because her cousin has a crush on her and was planning to ruin it. So while my daughter was agreeing to get married, my sister and I were in the car park with the jealous little shit in a headlock, whilst screaming that he loved her and that it’s not fair. He’s 27. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML
Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML
Today, our daughter has actually been dating a decent guy, compared to the usual losers, and was going to meet his parents. My wife put her foot in it by repeating over and over again how important meeting the parents is. She psyched her out so bad, she cancelled meeting his parents and dumped him. FML
Today, I was forced to sit silently through my 20-year-old daughter's wedding to a man who is 8 years older than I am. FML
Today, I was invited to an engagement. My crush is getting engaged next month to a man she told me she hated. FML
Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML
Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML
Today, my sister announced that she just got engaged… right as I was in the midst of giving birth to my twin daughters. The thing is, she's not actually engaged. In fact, she's single. She just couldn't stand that I was "upstaging" her and "had to think of something fast." FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Sweet Home Alaba- Wait, this was in the UK?
SAgirl 23
You are a good parent keeping that crazy shit away from your daughter.
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Comments (3)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Sweet Home Alaba- Wait, this was in the UK?
BurnInDemonFire 39
No problems with cousin-loving in the UK. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing, but it's a thing.
Pmyers225 3
Sweet Home Barnsley
SAgirl 23
You are a good parent keeping that crazy shit away from your daughter.
DLBL 23
That's great you held him in a headlock. That said, engagement is a very tender moment between TWO people, not a group event. What if she says no? Group humiliation.