Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML
Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML
Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML
Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML
Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Why do you keep showing up for that? Why do they keep him in the choir? It seems as though somebody could do something about it. If you're not willing to, then quit whining. And really, why haven't you given him a pre-emptive punch in the nuts by now?
sadistmonkey 19
Moreover, why are they arranged alphabetically??? This doesn't seem like a very good choir.
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Comments (152)
littlebopeep10 0
Exactly what I thought. I've never seen a choir that wasn't arranged by section, except for elementary school choirs.
saze_fml 0
Maybe it is time to go to another choir concert? Or change names?
kaelendra 0
uh that'd be called refuse to stand under him explaining why... obviously he should be in front or at least on a end. those saying dodge might want to think how close they probably all have to stand. dodging would prolly mean knocking over a bunch of people plus some through up quick and he's likely quite close.
lakeylove 0
hey I'm 12 and I know about fml. stop saying that kids don't go on fml well atleast I do
purplepickle 0
mhm yeah im 14 and ive know about this site for a while too and its not like little kids dont know the simple "bad words" like seriously i knew them by the time i was 8 its just something you pick up at school
electroboy_fml 0
So grandpa, can you hear me ok? Would you like something to eat?
biwinning88 1
what the hell is this comment even pertaining to? seems like it came out of left field. I'm reading about throw up then some ******* kid is saying he's 12 and knows about fml.... Ummm congrats?
redbluegreen 41
Mine was arranged by height too. But since when do elementary school choirs actually sound good?
ericalew_xo 0
Grody.
Daggertrout 6
Vomit on me once, shame on you. Vomit on me twice, shame on me. Vomit on me thrice, I'm gonna start wearing one of those umbrella hats when you're around.
Nathan727_fml 0
Lolz. @OP: Why not talk to your choir teacher about it? I'm pretty sure they would understand... unless you have one of those teachers that couldn't care less about you or any of the other students.
narsty 0
lol, or a poncho
plutonium_fml 0
Is thrice even a word?
abbrev 0
Yes, thrice is a word. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/thrice
madturtle 0
the world is full of great traditions.
_Noon_ 0
Change your last name! Problem solved :)
NHS_ASM 0
That's why Band is better! -0-(iii)-
abcdefghiloveyou 0
Exactly :D
Lisbetts 0
If the puker were in band, he'd just barf on himself and if he played brass or a woodwind, into his instrument.
hecuva 0
ew!! that happened once during a band performance, not pretty
chocolaholic 0
Poop in his tuba.