Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML
Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML
Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML
Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML
Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Why do you keep showing up for that? Why do they keep him in the choir? It seems as though somebody could do something about it. If you're not willing to, then quit whining. And really, why haven't you given him a pre-emptive punch in the nuts by now?
sadistmonkey 19
Moreover, why are they arranged alphabetically??? This doesn't seem like a very good choir.
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Comments (152)
B_money 0
Ok, I'm getting so sick of people's story with a question then a punch line. It used to be "they then proceeded to eat cheese" but now all the stories go something like this: Today, I farted. Why? Because I needed to shit. FML This is very annoying.
sadistmonkey 19
are you serious??
spontaneous23 0
Next time you should give them a barf bag before starting :)
davet 0
when it happens next year maybe you will learn, but I doubt it.
suri23 11
Ouch! Can't you hand the blower a barf bag before the concert?
iFruit 0
You had options: Quit the choir. Give him a barf bag. Slip a plastic bag on your head, let him barf on it, turn it inside out and put it over his head. Move out of the way. Options are great...
toosoonbreh 0
Singing's not his thing?
oopsie_daisy8446 0
Yum. 52nd?!
tpag3r 0
um this was kind of a fail your 51st
lucky0514 0
what kind of choir arranges people alphabetically? FYL
_Noon_ 0
LMAO.
remonnna 0
HA