Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML
Today, one of my coworkers decided it'd be funny to tell our boss that I made creepy comments about his teenage daughter. The worst part is that the aforementioned lying coworker is my mother. I wish I was joking. FML
Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year-old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she'd said "buried." FML
Today, we buried my mom. I walked past my sister's husband just in time to hear him mutter: "Hope the fire's nice and hot down there, you old hag." I told my sister. She wouldn't believe me and accused me of trying to start drama. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML
Today, I intentionally caused my parents to have an intensely heated argument when I asked them how and where they first met. Dad said it was at a funeral, and mom said it was at a burial. FML
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Top comments
Matisse_fml 0
Happens to the best of us. I once shared my thoughts on the "very special forces" article on The Onion's website to an acquaintance at work. It turned out that his brother was mentally disabled. FML
Timmytwofinger 0
what a tard, can people get off mums cause i just got off all of yours.
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Comments (44)
sugarandspite 0
HAH! SO funny. P.S. is that name an Empire!... reference?
bsaucedo 0
timmytwofinger wins .
swimmer07 0
if her moms funeral was last week she shouldnt be talking about burying people
AnnaSeptic 0
26, yeah, I thought the same thing. And that's why I say "your face" instead. Because it's easy to tell if someone doesn't have a face.
Bloonbloon 0
lol #27 I love using the mom insult :(
yourmumspanties 0
lololol you can't go wrong with your mum jokes
RyanKaufman 7
FYL for getting eye ****** by a ferrel pack of wolves who then in turn eat you slowly by starting from your fingers and toes and go up until you're just a sack of flesh and meat. YDI for being a ******* idiot and using a Your Mom joke. To redeem yourself, remove the pile of shit from your ears that you shoved in there to make people think you had a brain. Then see if the nearest rapist can split you in half with a pickaxe and rape each organ of yours. Double points if you can shoot yourself, your parents, and your grandparents with the same bullet. Kill the shitty parenting line.
Hannah15 3
that was really harsh. wow.
GrammarFailure 0
YDI for being an immature 12 year old and using a "your mom" joke.
Jake1595 0
you have to know how to use them.
newmanlyman3 8
1= lolz lolz lolz lolz lolz lolz!!!!!!!!!!!