Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML
Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML
Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
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Top comments
jkjorn 18
Good thing you didn't tell her to go to hell!
RichardPencil 32
Ok, you’ve got two wishes left. Try not to waste them, too.
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Comments (7)
Eivana 37
Reminds me of when your rival mocked you for falling into a hole in Pokemon Crystal. "What are you doing, falling into a hole? Some genius you are. Serves you right!"
Glowworm56 27
I remember an old comic story where a man's wife gained Satanic powers and unknowingly became a emissary of Satan after sleeping in a patch of mandrake. She also had a fiery temper, so now every time she cursed someone--it actually happened. You haven't recently slept in a patch of mandrake, have you?
jkjorn 18
Good thing you didn't tell her to go to hell!
RichardPencil 32
Ok, you’ve got two wishes left. Try not to waste them, too.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Now that you've broken her arms, don't step on any cracks, or she'll disown you.