Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Remodeling
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I painted the guest bathroom. Once finished, I noticed the paint splatters on my arms matched my lily white chalky skin. Paint matches me better than my makeup. Guess I need a different paint, and new make up. FML
Steady on
Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML
Not respected anymore
Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Taint
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
Top comments
afulcer 11
Oh that stinks... I hope you can paint over it with white!
zoegirl_455 30
Quick! paint everything black and claim you were influenced by the Rolling Stones
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Comments (108)
Jasmeent11 15
Maybe a subconscious sign? ---> I'm out
brandoneyez1 25
Paint it white, or get goo gone.
Xotoolyxo 16
Why would you smudge black paint?
cyttex 13
Do you even read 20?
steffidallasbfl 16
Should've left it and asked if someone could paint over it with white
Cass_x 22
paint it over with white. or paint the whole white part black.
perdix 31
Draw a bun around it to make it ambiguous. It could look like a hot dog or anal sex. That will really sort out which parishioners are on Team Satan.
5destroyer35 20
If Team Rocket blasts off, what does Team Satan do *inflamed right eye emoticon*
murdersquirrel 15
28 - stop. just stop.
thatnucca 36
Or team Seth from Superbad
5destroyer35 20
I really should, shouldn't I. I think, if just for the sake of discussion, we should see how much of a fool I make of myself. Fun for the whole family, eh?
katties 27
You could try to cover it up with the black square of Malevich as a symbol of the universe - God's creation ;D
murdersquirrel 15
just tell someone and fix it? you could probably sand it out enough that it won't show through a touch up of white. accidents happen. and they should forgive you.
perdix 31
You need to go back and add veins, hairy balls and an arcing rope of spooge, for in Proverbs it says: "Tis better to be considered a sex pervert than a clumsy oaf." Can I have an "amen?"
arandomusernameaa 20
The 60 shades version...
Ihavegas 22
y u no make black cross??