Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say, "You're adopted, nobody loves you!" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML
Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Thanks
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Awful line of inquiry
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Emotional support
Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML
Top comments
OhhxGoshhxAri 0
Never say that! That's horrible!
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh yeah? Well, YOU'RE adopted, and nobody loves YOU! Ever think of THAT?! >:|
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Comments (237)
Linzzification 0
this is offensive because I'm adopted too. I hope you burn in hell you little biatch
teamsquirrel 0
stop saying that because it's not even funny.
ayashe 2
Too bad, him and all the other adopted people should stop being so whiny. You were adopted, right? So get over it. You could have not been.
xx_Jean_xx 0
Come on people. Give the girl a break. We have all said stupid ass jokes.
niagara001001001 0
We "adopted people" are so whiny, because people pick on us for having absolutely no control over a situation. People who are not adopted do not understand it, you have the parents that you have, so do I, but unlike that traditional family, we don't share any of the same DNA traits, however we do/can act like each other, and somewhat look like each other. For example my adopted mother, and two adopted sisters and I all have blond hair, and green eyes. All are of British decent, and all are similar in build. except my "mom" was blessed with big boobs, me and my "sisters" are not... So before you say anything else about something you have no knowledge about, think about what you are saying. Because we are all human, and we all have a family, its just a little different.
clecavs23 0
**** you, you think we choice to be adopted
SpitFyre 0
How did you not know that he was adopted? Nice job.
Umquam 0
Guys, seriously, calm down. Did you not pick up on the 'jokingly'? Unless you guys live under a rock, you should know that most of the jokes these days are offensive in one way or another. If you're constantly politically-correct, /nothing's/ funny. Think about the top shows, the Office, Scrubs, comedians, top musicals such as Avenue Q--- all could be taken offensively if you have paper-thin skin. Granted, it wasn't the what I'd consider 'witty humor', but I'm not saying she should burn in hell or anything. Just because they were dating doesn't mean that she knows everything about him. Also, to all of you who are offended because you're adopted, I can't see why you're so offended. She said it jokingly. She didn't mean it. I myself am a donor baby, and people say things like "You're an abomination" and that I'm gonna "burn in hell". Even my friends say that jokingly. It used to bother me, but now I know that my friends are just joking around and don't mean anything by it, and the people who actually mean that don't matter. So if you get so offended by a girlfriend making a slip-up joke with her boyfriend, and then telling people on the internet, maybe you should ask yourself whether you're really okay with yourself being adopted, and not be so concerned about her, even though, like I said, she wasn't the cleverest in my opinion either.
giselless 5
Just because most jokes nowadays are offensive doesn't mean it's right.
TeeParty 0
You're a bitch, regardless of joking around. **** his life, YDI.
honeyishrnkdakid 2
FYL OP. People on this site are judgmental bastards. You would think a choir of angels resided here. People here act as if they've never joked and mistakenly said something hurtful, or done something completely idiotic, or performed an ill-timed action. And you would think that the commentators here were the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, never doing or saying anything wrong. Also, you would think they were omniscient since people are judged and deserve things that happen to them as a result of their ignorance regarding something. Every pot on here lives in a glass house, so get over yourselves and f*** off. (p.s. for those of you who didn't get it, that was a mixed metaphor at the end. You are pots calling the kettle black and people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones)
NorfolkDude 2
Perhaps next time you should make sure first that one isn't adopted, however, sometimes we say things that are hurtful when we don't even mean it or realize another's situation. However, hopefully your boyfriend is as understanding. If he backs off from an unintentional hurtful comment, perhaps he isn't a good person to be with.
Sammara 0
This wasn't an "Oops, that slipped out." She clearly says this is what she says to be funny. This is a habitual saying for her. Not an accident, and she definitely needed to have this happen so that she'll stop saying something so inconsiderate.
DeathByFalchion 0
You're a bitch and I hope he dumped your ass.