Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
ilaleahcim 6
Spontaneously AND out of the blue? Impressive.
iLazy 0
Lol why don't you just tell her that she should be a telemarketer.
itaimumwiro 8
don't ruin it. just say quatw
EvilPotato 15
yes great idea throw her life away.
gunmania0 12
Every relationship is meant to work like that... except yours. Yours doesn't work.
PurpleRae420 0
Aww that's sad don't tell her then you may never be able to touch her!!!
seanders 10
That's why you ask for ********, it's 10 minutes of silence.
herrobear 0
Sucks man. Maybe you should talk more that way it's about things you're interested in too? If it's that bad, you shouldn't be together.
tittymagic 0
hey seanders you can only make it 10 min? wow sometimes I shoot my load if a fly lands on my shaft
Emster689 0
why would that help?
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
EatnBeef 7
women need to shut the **** up. take away their Talking rights
KyRidHEART 0
Meaaaanie.
TimeDisposalEngi 14
LOL
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
strangerdanger90 0
"what what in the butt "
orphinz 3
Surprise But Sex
titan87 0
Very Niccccceess I like!
griddy24 18
Hopefully she would call the police?
XmyviolentheartX 13
Tell her you want to play the "quiet game" haha. Nah, you should tell her to close her eyes, then you can take your time lol gives you more than a "few seconds". lol like a good minute of silence. ;]
KyRidHEART 0
Seems you like "Laughing Out Loud" noting you said it two times in a sentence.
XmyviolentheartX 13
Well you have a good eye. Good job. And yes, I do like to "Lol". I would rather put two "lol" than "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah that's lol!" so yeah.
luvppl 6
omg I would love that.... too bad cuz that's like the sweetest thing you can do... :(
im_awsome 2
people that can talk for hours nonstop annoys me -___-
lolman222 0
nod your head a little bit when she talks, and she will think you are listening. whilst nodding, day dream. both win
PSQ91 6
Clingy girls smh...
CitrusGirl 0
She's not clingy she's chatty. Get your adjectives right.
PSQ91 6
Ouh shit I failed. Ty
jbomber95 4
loud bches these days