Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
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Top comments
xxAlli 0
why wouldn't you have had your uniform on before you got to the club?
matanblum 3
Nothing is hotter than an electrifying bouncer whose not afraid to fight
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Comments (77)
xxAlli 0
why wouldn't you have had your uniform on before you got to the club?
coldashell 23
Must agree.
trollfaced 2
As long as OP had something that identified his job then he shouldn't have gotten tased, otherwise YDI
MikeMclaughlin 5
That's why you should always go prepared.
marinus_fml 20
Maybe OP felt like having a bit of a dance before his shift started?
rotflqtms_ 21
Or maybe OP doesn't like walking in public with a bouncer uniform on to attract unnecessary attention. Some people change at work because they don't feel like (if he takes public transportation) riding a bus suited up in a bouncer uniform...
brownkity 7
Yeah, I'd hate walking outside in my work uniform & Something happens & people look to me like, "hey, you're a bouncer, isn't it your job to stop fights?" Thy stop fights because They're paid to stop them. Why get in unnecessary scuffles if you don't need to? Dangerous Or what if some drunk decides to just stabs them because they hate some bouncer who didn't let them into a club the night before, & I have a target on him/her saying, "Hey, look! I'm the reason you can't get into clubs! Haha!" I have been attacked by crazies because of my job before, so I don't advertise what I do anymore. It's just not worth it.
brownkity 7
*they* not thy. "He/she", not I I had everything in first person, & tried to edit it to make the top part in third person, but missed a couple...and ran out of editing time.
DKParth13 5
Wtf?^
Pinkfl0yd 9
Maybe op had yet to change into their bouncer uniform.
Krysk_fml 0
43- your picture fits your comment so well xD.
matanblum 3
Nothing is hotter than an electrifying bouncer whose not afraid to fight
marinus_fml 20
Bouncers who purposely aggravate the public with the intention to spark a fight are total tossers.
rcgirl2 11
Now ya know to wear it next time.
wittygirl 8
FYL that's the worst =
SoSickWithIt 14
The only thing that has caught my attention on this thread is your picture. Challenge ******* accepted.
wittygirl 8
Lol bring it!
Old_Man_Jenkins 0
What's up with cops using tasers all the time..those things are deadly. Shouldn't use them unless it is really needed.
HolyPotato 9
Well he's obviously big and can fight if he's a bouncer at a club, so they probably saw him as a threat.
yummcookie 0
Because they've forgotten how to speak to people.
marinus_fml 20
#25, You're actually right, speaking to a violent person is the best way to calm the situation. Even the marines that caught Osama merely spoke to him, he listened and obeyed every command. Also, most of the battles that were ever fought in world war two, saw opposing nations verbally settle the argument across the trenches by yelling at each other across land-mine torn fields.
Vash_41288 10
@30 I agree sometimes talking is just not an available option unless you're a spy trained in the art of conversational manipulation even then a fight is unavoidable
Awahso 25
Less than lethal force. Better then cops swinging their batons and breaking bones right? While it may kill every now and then, 99% it is quick, effective, and non lethal.
bwhahaha_fml 10
50 I bet if your relative was in the 1% your view would change drastically. Judging from what op said the cops were in danger at no time therefore use of tasers was not needed.
KingCeltic77 18
We never caught Osama. The SEALs killed him. Also, trenches were from WWI.
mdtdnb 7
Agreed, that's just plain bad luck right there.
PostItSticker 11
FYL, Tasering hurts, now unleash your Thunder >:D
desireev 18
Don't be shocked that they tased you! You weren't wearing your uniform, silly! :) FYL though!
WCARlover 35
He was shocked, though, literally:/
desireev 18
I know!... That's too bad! I watt to be able to help him! Ways to help him are just buzzing through my brain.. But I'm still waiting for my lightbulb to flicker on! He should definitely switch into his uniform next time though! :)
ladyLALAA 29
I just died and went to pun heaven.
desireev 18
Hehe.. That was my first time doing that.. And it was punny!! Haha! :)
ladyLALAA 29
A pun a day keeps the doctor away!
Elsaltorres 7
Gosh I think all those puns just made my night haha
WCARlover 35
And I bet you learned a lesson huh? You probably won't enter the club to go to work without your uniform on again
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
That was shocking!