Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
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Top comments
xxAlli 0
why wouldn't you have had your uniform on before you got to the club?
matanblum 3
Nothing is hotter than an electrifying bouncer whose not afraid to fight
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Comments (77)
RussianFox 13
No.. Just no
HairyPunisher 27
While I agree that you shouldn't have been working while not in uniform, I see NO reason for cops to use tazers. I worked at a club and some bouncers got so heated they would literally lunge at the opportunity to join the fight as opposed to actually stopping it with as little force as possible. If you are one of those guys that joins the fight, then YDI for not trying to stop the fight. Otherwise, FYL that really sucks.
Mystery_Machete 2
I want you to be nice, until it's time to not be nice.
rubberduckie94 13
Maybe I just used to go to the underbelly of the bar world but I have never saw a bouncer uniform. They just dressed like this patrons.
wes04ram1500 6
I feel your pain, I have been hot with a tazer twice in my life. I personally would almost rather them shoot me. It hurts that damn bad.
Ace1991 2
I'd sue.
appletree420 1
not enough research has gone into tazers, damn crackheads stopped responding to pepper spray.
j_cat187 20
And if a cop draws a tazer, the crackhead and his buddies might automatically assume that it's a gun.
Kog_Hiro 17
Don't tase me bro?
j_cat187 20
Wait, so did the cop just shoot his tazer into the crowd? What a stupid cop. The confusion and screams might escalate the situation if someone felt an atrocity had just occurred.
forever_born 6
That seriously sucks!! I'd tase the cops back.