Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
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Top comments
xxAlli 0
why wouldn't you have had your uniform on before you got to the club?
matanblum 3
Nothing is hotter than an electrifying bouncer whose not afraid to fight
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Comments (77)
lrgenesis 19
There's a reason you wear that you know, but that really does suck because "not yet" probably means you'd just arrived at the place and didn't have time.
lovepandorasaver 11
Turns out they had a tazer, they start tazing on my butthole, over and over.
deadlydk 0
The phonies wouldn't let up, my butt-hole was on fire. The moral of this story is... You can't trust the system... MAN!
mlkeb73 0
Don't taze me bro
WFOchevy30 0
It seams as though you could have avoided all of this by yelling roadhouse
WFOchevy30 0
Also shame on everyone befor me who didn't make a roadhouse reffrence
hateevryone 15
That sucks and being a bouncer you're going to be doing that often.
tinkdatank 15
Damn, that sucks man
Tdevonner 0
fyl..maybe from now on you should wear ur bouncer uniform under ur clothes leotard style like superman and when danger breaks out you can rip open yoyr clothes, saving the day while simultaneoysly alerting the cops to the fact that you are not a threat!
PlasticSand 6
3 people =/= a crowd
ColonelKlink 8
Sucks, but you deserved it for sure.