Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML
Today, my cat did the same thing as in the video where a cat lights its tail on fire with a candle and just watches it nonchalantly until it stops burning… Except, instead of watching nonchalantly, he bolted all over the house while screaming his head off. Trying to extinguish him was a nightmare. FML
Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
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Top comments
wolfy120 4
sorry op hope your cats ok
mackdeezy 22
So your pussy had a burning sensation.
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Comments (128)
heyhihello95 12
At least it was just his tail.
Sightless92 7
Whoever said cats are smarter than dogs was wrong.
redmane 21
You have no information on what dogs would do around open flames. You have no comparison. Not every single cat would do this, you know.
cristy91 33
I've had quite a few of both. Some of my pets were super smart, some were terribly stupid. I'm a dog person, but it's only out of preference, not because they are better than cats.
shorty6823 28
My step dads dog is a good example. I think she tried to play in our bonfires until she got in trouble..... several times. She's a bit dim.
MrConcise 35
I feel your pain. Cats often don't make the best choices. My kitty likes to sit above my tarantula's cage and antagonize the **** out of him by swatting at the glass. Of course, she sits on the screen top which LOOKS like it could snap at any moment, in which case she would be killed by tarantula venom. I've done lots and lots of pressure tests on that cage just for that reason. Haha.
CaptMurdock 25
Yikes, what a catastrophe! I hope your cat is alright OP.
etishuman22 32
Poor kitty!
HeadlessSparrow 20
Your cat just sat there meowing while his tail was right next to the open flame. He must like the heat then
perdix 31
And this is why we shave our ******* these days. . .
Success4444 12
You shave your pussy, Perdix? Sweet!
olpally 33
You've got to be kitten me right meow! Would you like your pussy well done or extra crispy?
SaveCowEatCarrot 14
Damn, OP, that's a catasthophe! I bet you're really furstrated.
Glitter_taco_ 10
Well your neighbors must be wondering why you're cooking your cat