Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
XxSKELETOxX 0
I'm assuming you guys are lesbians? I can't check the gender on FML Mobile, but it seems like it wouldn't matter if a guy took off his shirt. But chicks have boobs. On the other hand, that would be a pretty bad FML if OP is a guy
cookies7504 0
dude get another gf
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Comments (89)
perdix 31
I guess she couldn't bear it. That's a pun, snafu57, you ignorant prick. My joke was a double entendre.
COBRAMORPH 0
Sounds like you couldnt score in the whorehouse that your GF works at with a $100 bill. Get her drunk & give her anal in front of them.
Ninjaface 0
Put her stuffed animals in sexual positions while she's in the bathroom. Then she won't have to worry about their "innocence" anymore.
xXCrazyPersonXx 0
lol Great!!
KaynaBurrows 0
Thats awesome!!!
lilmszssy 0
youu deff stole that frum The N commercial
rhy12 0
wow that's just stupid!
daniDrPepper 0
wow. I feel sorry for you. I'm 14 and I don't even say stupid stuff like that, never have had to.
_CherryBomb_ 0
maybe someday she will grow up....
ditzykayla 0
wow. you life sucks....but this made me laugh...and reminded me of the commercial they used to show on The N of the couple making out in her room...and out of no where she stops and turns all her stuffed animals heads around so they are facing the wall and not them...next time maybe you should do that for your girlfriend.haha.
rachiestarr 0
ydi if you havent dumped her yet!
apfunction 0
for some reason I find that hot