Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
XxSKELETOxX 0
I'm assuming you guys are lesbians? I can't check the gender on FML Mobile, but it seems like it wouldn't matter if a guy took off his shirt. But chicks have boobs. On the other hand, that would be a pretty bad FML if OP is a guy
cookies7504 0
dude get another gf
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Comments (89)
beeliv 0
she is ******* pyscho.. hit it nd quit itt.. nd fast
swhockey02 0
they r lesbians
lkrunner101 7
Or else just quit it
skyeyez9 25
Turn the stuffed animals around or toss a blanket over them. Or just dump her.
perdix 31
I guess she didn't want to add a stuffed pussy to her collection.
Frank_Sinatra 0
But how would it be stuffed if they were both women? :p
shankapotamous15 3
ahhh...got a point there. lol
Sunnytweet79 0
Not funny...at all...get a life !!
J4musicals 0
What a lame-ass excuse. She just didn't want you
baborock 0
that's Kind of weird and wrong. you should steal them all and burn them haha
snafu57 1
#14, great comment. you rock. a pun is the lowest form of humor. thanks for hitting a new low.
Eviktion 0
but she's a girl w/ a girl so no pun.
kBRETTE 6
Haha, I dug it.
thinmint 0
perdix that was fantastic! I need one of those!
pomlaos 0
tell her to take her stuffed animals outside then...
stewietm 0
#17 ure the lowest form of comedy get a life for reals
snafu57 1
#17, got one. just don't need you in it. ;-)
scuba1722 0
lol u are #17
bridgetann79 0
hahaha. yeah I know right.