Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
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Top comments
Nexxion 0
Today, I called up my best friend because my grandfather had just died. I suddenly hear the sound of a zipper, some moaning, and a dialtone as he hangs up while I'm still bawling. FML
MtVernonVA 0
Then what happened?
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Comments (228)
MtVernonVA 0
Then what happened?
TheDoubleStuffOr 0
Your odviously a good ****** otherwise he wouldn't have sex at that time...
Killuhk 8
Blow jobs help lighten the mood haha jk
happygolucky9 0
i don't get it
lutzluv124 0
he wanted to get laid that badly: either he is a majore asshole or you gotta step it up in the bedroom
lajava1234 0
how is this bad?
mynameisshow 4
Are you trolling, or just stupid?
T9FTW 20
YOU DUM.
Juneyah1017 9
No one died you fool. It's all a lie to hide the fact that he's a cheater.
angeluv_2014 22
But OP said she heard crying!
roberteskimo 0
LMAO
mjsmclaren 0
#2, are you slow or just bad at reading?
Deeno15 0
did you do your job? hahah so funny man. shot! :) XD
JOELY_fml 0
HAHA thats awesome what a legend.
monkeyjuice 0
LOL This is more of an FML for the best friend.
TheDarkoprince 0
hahaha thats awesome!
crunkk426 0
Bite his **** off and kick him in the fanny
happygolucky9 0
oh lol i get it now
PaisleyKing90 0
duh
tWitt3rBuG 0
Uh, wouldn't you have been more upset if he walked up and left to talk this other female? So what happened after he put the phone down? That's the deciding factor!
Leadamp 7
no she probably wouldn't have minded because the best friends grandad had just died. It would have showed her that her boyfriend was a considerate guy who cared about his friends.