Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
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Top comments
FMMFL1992 3
You're a good mom.
shmexyme 0
The neighbor told her to say that ;)
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Comments (132)
shmexyme 0
The neighbor told her to say that ;)
khaayotic 16
Well played neighbor, well played.
TriflingAllDay 6
Quagmire.
reallytho3 11
Giggity...
domking1315 20
Who else but Quagmire?
juliaispink 1
Your a good mommy:)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
42- Herbert the Pervert. But she'd probably have to scream for her little brother.
uberdubers 3
I'd laugh if OP's neighbour was an old lady. Eh, I guess they need some entertainment at times too.
dajojonater 3
Dinkleberg...
nado13579 12
Giggity giggity... Alright!
aisthecoolest 8
Pics or it didn't happen
ironwords 8
If theyre white shoes it's an emergency!
biggestfan23 11
Guess she won't ever be known as the tomboy type
cropper 0
Yet, she will be the type that makes a huge scene because you got her a red convertible over the yellow one.
mars13_fml 8
Or if they are designer shoes it's an emergency then also :p
FMMFL1992 3
You're a good mom.
skullofdarkness 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well... Certainly a devoted mom... But that could also suck for the kid... I mean picture your mom running to you completely naked, without so much as a towel on...
Inheritance 10
OP better than having a unexpected guest waiting for you downstairs
doctorhook86 25
4: And a better neighbour.
mylifesucks_fml 1
no, she sounds like a GREAT mom! because if it was a real emergency shed be there naked caring more for her daughters safety than her dignity
mylifesucks_fml 1
She sounds more like a GREAT mom because at that point she cared more about her daughters safety than even her dignity... which is pretty uncommon nowadays. I applaud this woman edit- sorry I didn't realize the first one stayed. been having problems with this lately
mylifesucks_fml 1
She sounds more like a GREAT mom because at that point she cared more about her daughters safety than even her dignity... which is pretty uncommon nowadays. I applaud this woman edit- sorry, didn't realize the first one stuck
mylifesucks_fml 1
She sounds more like a GREAT mom because at that point she cared more about her daughters safety than even her dignity... which is pretty uncommon nowadays. I applaud this woman edit- sorry I didn't realize the first one stayed
mylifesucks_fml 1
I give up with FML tonight -_-
MrSassypants 34
Thank you for giving up. They say "try, try, and try again" but I just say stop and sit down.
hatesfate 6
If her daughter is that young (emotionally/mentally) to cry for help for dirt on her shoe, she's not that great of a mom to let her kid play outside with no supervision while she's in the shower... What if a nice man with candy or puppies showed up?
epic13 12
Then that little girl would be enjoying a new puppy and some candy.
crymore007 11
you said a "nice man". I have a hard time thinking of a nice man who would do anything bad to a poor little girl.
rokemay 10
Who said she was outside? She said downstairs. I let my 3 and 1 year olds play in their room while I shower. It's across the hall from the bathroom and I keep both doors open. If I didn't do this, I'd never have a chance to shower!
mylifesucks_fml 1
85- what if they have a fenced in yard? then it wouldn't matter. because she never said front door either
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
haha you just gotta love kids ... and props for what you did because THAT'S WHAT I CALL GOOD PARENTING!! YEAH!! GO MOM!!
annie_nk 23
Little girls are funny that way. My niece once took a bad tumble on a dirt trail and instead of yelling out in pain, she cries "I'm dirty!" lol.
IworkAt711 14
I was that way as a young lad
bebefer 8
Kids these days... I'm ashamed to be a part of them. What ever happened to playing in the dirt?
KeyboardWarrior 10
You're ashamed to be a kid because a little girl somewhere in the world doesn't appreciate being dirty? Nice outlook you've got there, champ.
MindFreakazoid 10
I'm with you, 9, I like just running barefoot in my field when it's raining, to get muddy and feel the squishy grass, wonder why other people don't like it too
IAmAZero 0
That's a wee bit harsh there 23...and completely wrong at that
SpicyDuck 22
There's a difference though between getting your self dirty and getting your belongings dirty
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh please, its not like there were kids going through the "neat freak" phase during your time. And besides, the daughter might be a "girly girl" who hates getting muddy than a tomboy who loves playing in the mud.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
They could have been new shoes that maybe she bought herself. Just a novel thought.
jewwybeanzzz 10
I played in the dirt as a kid, hell I do now, but if I got brand new white tennies I would flip if they got dirty
ShannyAK 16
At least she cares weather our not shes dirty! Your a very caring mother op
t_raw1234 11
You did the right thing because it could have been an emergency
TriflingAllDay 6
Your reasoning is astonishing, this world needs more of you around.
perdix 31
It WAS an emergency! Dirty shoes!!!! Apply RICE (rest, ice, compression and elevation) to the shoes immediately, and they my be saved!
the_anti_hipster 7
39--but what treatment do you suggest to cleanse the mind from seeing your own mother buckass naked? There are certain things that just can't be unseen.
metalwolf 17
It sounds like the kid is young enough that it wont effect her because she wont know better.
CharliesCool2084 8
But it WAS an emergency! Shoes are very important!
RulerFourEntity 1
#88 - Yes, but if she's little then its not that big of deal, I saw 'both' my parents stalk naked when I was young, didn't effect me at all. Think like a child if you're gonna make assumptions like this.
skittihorse 8
I'm thinking the daughter's name is Stacy. If you're catching my drift here.
skittihorse 8
I'm thinking the daughter's name is Stacy. If you're catching my drift here.
HelloChrissy 9
Aww that's kinda cute. It's good that you reacted how you did too. :). Good job momma.
zachherbert 10
You should cherish moments like these. They come and they go so quick.
ChefPhilly 13
I was expecting the end to say something like.. " and I ended up standing naked in front of her Girl scout Squad". Disappointment... :(
missunderstanded 5
your better then me. I'd probably roll down the stairs and break my neck checking on my child lol, and still would have made it!
KiddNYC1O 22
Must... resist... correcting grammar.
RydeOrDie 7
Edit? You're better than I. I'd probably roll down the stairs and break my neck while checking on my child, lol. I still would have made it!
TriflingAllDay 6
Fail.
JustKittyKat 24
At least you know you are an excellent mommy.