Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
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Top comments
FMMFL1992 3
You're a good mom.
shmexyme 0
The neighbor told her to say that ;)
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Comments (132)
Deannie88 6
Good thing it wasn't an emergency! That goes to show, you are a great mother
duckiegirl21 10
The good news is she's perfectly safe. Maybe you should let her know to call for help like that in real emergencies only. ;)
iMandyx3 5
I bet your daughter wrote an FML about this same situation o.e
THE_A_TEEN 28
A little girl? On FML, a site with sexual content? Please be joking.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I've been here since I was around 11 or 12. Just reading, though. That explains so much, now.
Arrawyn 12
Call the ambulance! Her shoes are ruined! Why her, why her?! It's a very good thing no one saw you OP, you're a good mom.
hqbrat 8
If there white shoes it's defenetly a problem
br0ccoli 15
One must not think that every brown stain is dirt for the same reason why you shouldn't always lick what they think is 'chocolate'.
rooney0710 5
At least she wasn't dying
KVKdragon 26
I wonder how she feels about sand after playing at the beach or in a sandy playground
perdix 31
At first, your neighbor thought your kid was dirty, but now he knows you're filthy ;). Oh, yeah!
unknown_user5566 27
I just pictured the Kool Aid guy busting through OP's wall as this situation was happening.
Brilliant66star 17
Mom's instinct at work here; you didn't carry this child to term & then survive the labour, colic, teething, bedwetting, thumb sucking, fear of the dark, imaginary friends & everything else for nothing.
eccentrix 12
I agree, parents like to protect their children.
hockeyoceancity 13
Your profile picture is really cool looking.