Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was teaching a class, but the kids were all talking and chattering. After three soapbox-style speeches about how, "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went, "Meow." FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
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Top comments
forest1wolf 9
The circle of life!
kevsandy303 12
You shouldn't be lion to them! It's the Circle of Life! Hakunna Matata!
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Comments (93)
forest1wolf 9
The circle of life!
saIty 17
DAMMIT SIMBA! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS
kevsandy303 12
They were just feline a bit horny, being 'betrothed' and all. Being king has its benefits!
Enslaved 38
History of the World, Part 1 informed me that, "It's Good to be the King". *Btw they never made a Part 2. :P
Alexweber929 14
I love that movie
adamo_erebus 26
they're playing leap frog?
ak_6694 16
But it's school holidays in Australia?
Hummbinger 5
It's probably a school holiday program, my primary school used to run them.
leadawg75 12
Or this FML was posted late and she forgot to remove the today.
ByronJess 17
^ If she removed the 'today', her FML wouldn't have been approved.
banana527 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She/he might not be in Australia...
A7XCamaro 19
It says OP is in Australia
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
Im australian and Im no longer on school holidays. Depends on the state.
supportcommand 17
In defense of 64, I use the phone app and I don't see where it says where op is from. The previous app used to. But I don't see it anymore.
notjanedoe 27
♪ It's the ciiiircle of life... ♪
kevsandy303 12
You shouldn't be lion to them! It's the Circle of Life! Hakunna Matata!
oj101 33
They got a lot more education than they bargained for.
Vidrill 22
Oh well, they would have found out anyway one way or another. You can let it up to the parents to explain further or not, if they so choose.
7yzz 18
Don't think the parents would of been there. Who cares anyway, what would they do if their darling children's precious ears heard about the truth of how their body works, sue this teacher? Not how it works in Australia.
GriffZilla 3
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel."
DanielleinDC 34
How many people here are thinking of that Bloodhound Gang song? Next time take the kids to a museum; they're less likely to see mating critters.
Catkam623 27
Forget the museum, the lions are on the fun side of life (plus now the kids know how to do it lion style)
meggy2010 5
Get horny now!
asherm 15
Yeah, I was gonna say it. May just have to sing it on the bus I'm on
Darksoul09 16
They're dancing!!
kevsandy303 12
No! If they were dancing, there would be a huge-ass tower of giraffes and wildebeests and shit with the two lions atop it performing a sing-and-dance routine! It's like you haven't seen any Disney movies at all!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Hakuna Matata OP. The kids had to find out about the circle of life eventually
LovesSushi 25
They are what, 8 years old? I'm sure some of them knew what was happening. All you had to do was ask if anyone knew what they were doing and let them explain.
BlowinChronic 18
"Can anyone tell me what is going on here with these lions?" "That dude is banging the **** of his girl. That's what the lions are doing." "I need to have a word with you young man."
LovesSushi 25
Yep, that is pretty much how I imagined it.
willbur73q 7
Have the kids explain it to each other? Ya, brilliant idea...