Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML
Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
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Comments (136)
MichaelW 0
I honestly see no problem with this, except for the $2 part. I would be quite excited about the Lord of the Rings part. And by the way, there are 3 movies.
xxxDeathBat7xxx 0
Man knows how to treat a woman.
fearfulsymmetry 1
OP, I think the fact that you recognized the entire dialogue from being from Lord of the Rings says a lot about you too. ;)
akaashR 0
wow thats pretty impressive actually
L3g4lPl4typus 0
I'm paraphrasing John Lennon by saying "give geek love a chance". lol
TropicalTulipz 0
2 FREAKIN DOLLARS!?! ..how ugly are you...
Infosys 0
I can see why you're only worth 2 dollars. You're stupid as hell; you can't even spell dialogue. Get out of the dating world and go back to 6th grade.
banana_buddy 6
You mean go back to the 6th grade dating world, then just maybe she'll be worth more than 2 bucks.
tanjoodo 3
no, 6th graders barely have $1.5 to spend on girls...
skyeyez9 25
....and one ring to rule them all.
SakeOfSacrifice 0
my precious ;)
always_unlucky 0
he wants to be an actor? lol