Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML
Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
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Comments (136)
megaaann_fml 9
OP! why the hell are you bagging Lord of the Rings? im not a nerd and i have friends, but i loved that movie!!
megaaann_fml 9
OP! why the hell are you bagging Lord of the Rings? im not a nerd and i have friends, but i loved that movie!!
jakel121 0
That is not an FML! Lord of The Rings is amazing!! Ydi for not realizing who your going to miss later on.
Sencilia 14
I don't see what your problem is. He sounds like a keeper to me.
dubbadee123 5
I wantto meet that guy
earnestine123 2
I am slightly nerdy, nerdy enough to know that this is probably fake for a a couple of reasons #1: there is not a lord of the rings movie. there are 3 lord of the rings movies (hence the name "trilogy"), the fellowship of the ring, the two towers and the return of the king. #2: if what you are saying is true, and he did recite every line of dialogue from the lord of the rings trilogy, then your date must have lasted 9-12 hours, depending on whether or not he was quoting from the standard 2 disc editions or the special extended 4 disc editions. if it is true, then this is my dream man.
kbt13 0
lol you should be happy, you were his precious
fyreshadowes 2
In his defense, LOTR was a fantastic trilogy. He was probably nervous and didn't know what to say, so he started babbling. Happens all the time. In any case, you should really have expected something like this when you participated in a dating auction, or any kind of arrangement where you can't choose the person you're matched with. Good luck next time.
max13_fml 8
haha thats funny but i bet you usually get more from working the streets sooo **** your life
yungsam 0
Hahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahah THAT SUCKS!!