Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML
Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
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Comments (136)
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
ooitastic 0
Love at first sight?
tobyraza 0
No, it's bad. Why did you sign up for a dating auction? I had no idea those existed, but I would expect some pretty creepy guys would be there. YDI.
ooitastic 0
Maybe you looked like a hobbit?
stronghand0331 17
"Dating auctions," is that how you purchase a hooker nowadays? They cum with a side of herps! I'm sure it's for charity though...
Bobissmall 13
If it was a charity, FYL for not getting someone else, but what can you expect i suppose, should be prepared for a weirdo:P If it wasnt for a charity, YDI, why would you do something like that anyway? :P
Alleged_Cranium 7
Stronghand: And what do you cum with? (say pelvic quaking, say pelvic quaking)
stronghand0331 17
I do believe it's from pelvic quaking. Yes, I did think of that all by myself.
persianjr1 7
Wow 2 dollars? who is dumb enough todate someone for 2 dollars? even for charity. is 2 dollars to charity enough for that? Thumbs up if agree!
persianjr1 7
whoops i clicked enter to soon. what about its just for fun. if there ae people who are despret enough to have to buy you for a date. their probably creeps. just sayin
SadinSherman 16
I agree that movie is like three hours and the books are huge
DocBastard 40
Persianjr- too* it's* are* desperate* date,* they're* Holy hell.
bloodymatzaball 4
Well thats better than not being bought !
syddyb 0
I love lord of the rings(:
xMegan 0
I would legitimently **** in my pants. That is amazing.
mayhem372 8
53 you forgot "sayin"
sabrinaacrow 26
I wish my boyfriend would do that on a date with me
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
BahahahLOL 0
You win. All of it. Just take it, and go.
btnhdude 0
what?!? don't let her take all the fail!
SirHobnobs 0
Give some of that win to charity, it's that time of the season
LolAtYourFail 12
hahahahahahahaha
bedburgular 0
was it really that funny. it was a lol at most
whohasanaccount 2
Good movie!
yumsugarr 8
Oh, sounds like fun!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hellz yeah!! I'd bid at least two fiddy on you! *wink wink* And I won't talk about lord of the rings with you either! I'll just talk to you about when I got herpes from a carrousel that eventually took me to the moon where I got to play with myself I mean with my balls um I mean toys yeah toys in close to zero gravity but my toys floated away and I couldn't breath on the moon so I came back down to earth where the humans thought I was an alien but I was like no I'm a kangaroo what are you and so then they did some tests on me and I sued mcdonalds cuz I felt violated but I ended up losing so now I'm a poor dead alien with herpes and only my memories to keep me going. uh huh.
theian01 3
I'll bid about tree fiddy.
bman134 0
you guys realize she is 14 right
iliketurdles 7
Yeah, you fools are nasty perverted paedophiles. I'll go five fiddy.
chadical 0
you are the worst troll ever why you no beter?
iliketurdles 7
No, but I do know *BETTER.
Infosys 0
But you don't kbow PEDOPHILES*
Infosys 0
...And I don't know know* haha.
nuckatucka 3
You should have known better than to put yourself up for auction when you are only worth 2 bucks...
Bubbelz 25
84 He actually spelt it good.
Lounia_fml 8
OWNED! Literally!
idl3mind 0
geeks need love too
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
yes they do
SandiRainbowFish 20
And there's nothing wrong with geeks
phear46 0
Tell you what, if your hot ill bid 3 dollars,deal?
collegegirl87 0
I love Lord of the Rings!!
sourgirl101 29
Me too! On my lazy days, I watch ALL of the movies in a row. And I'm lazy a lot! (: Shoot, I'd love to meet this big spender of yours.
collegegirl87 0
lol me too! I was only 12 when the movie first came out, and me and my best friend were obsessed! We bought all the movies, games, and action figures! lol Big spender of mine?
sourgirl101 29
Oops, second part was meant for the OP. (:
collegegirl87 0
Oh ok lol :)
ChristyCarnegie 0
Lonely guy= win
teamdamon 0
I think your made for each other cuz you reconized all the dialog to be from the lord of the rings
jakel121 0
awesome comment!! YOU MY FRIEND ARE EPIC WIN!!!