Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML
Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
kkutting 2
haha sometimes I wonder about certain people :P sounds like someone from hick qc town with terrible slang too xD god those people are special! hahaha..! but hey I guess that's what happens when you participate in an auction OP
kyle1991 0
woof woof
duckiesrevenges 0
you should be happy ... LOTR is an amazing movie but you wouldnt understand
AngieVengeance 0
what's wrong with that?
Dragoncatdpt 0
Agreed, he sounds like a pretty cool guy actually
CLDBL00DED 0
Smeagol loves the precious
reddwarf_fml 0
.........um is the FML that u only brought 2 dollars or the Lord Of The Ribgs thing?
seradares 0
Dude has good taste in movies and a good memory! Can't lose
poggymoose 0
I love the mines of Moria scene, especially the part with the bridge of khazad dum "You can not pass! I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" How do I even remember all that? lol!
svolski 0
******* nerd
LizTheGolfish 0
WE WANTS IT!!!
Karnezar 2
I'd go there and quote 300.. "So, what do you like to do?" "GIVE THEM NOTHING, BUT TAKE FROM THEM, EVERYTHING!!" "I think I should go.." "Instead ask yourself, what should a free man do?" "This is ridiculous.." "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"