Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML
Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
that's freaking amazing.
Shorty_Shaza 5
was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?
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Comments (136)
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Aw cut him some slack. He was just lonely and wanted your company OP. You should be flattered.
bigbadtim 7
"We wants it, my precious."
worldclass 0
Future husband material.. I'm impressed.
Doortje 30
My precioussss
redbluegreen 41
I think you'll find there is no such movie. There is The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but none of them are titled "The Lord of the Rings". I'll assume you meant the first, The Fellowship of the Ring, which happens to not only be closest to the book, but is probably the one most people think of. Also, a real fan would quote the book, not the movie, unless he enjoys being a cliché. Anyway, if you're really desperate enough to be sold at an auction, you deserve what you get. If you're simply doing it to raise money for a charity, suck it up! It's not even about you in the first place. You signed up to do a good deed, not necessarily to be wined and dined.
cam1989 0
Agreed, though, maybe he WAS quoting the book and she couldn't tell the difference :) I have girly girl friends that don't know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek >.
NJXD 0
go get laid dude
mayhem372 8
ha!
RustlingSoul 26
Well, the movie was based off the book, and the book was titled "The Lord of the Rings," and just divided into three parts for conveniance.
momo1972 3
I'll double his bid
cam1989 0
Honestly, being a geeky girl (who still knows the importance of straightening my hair, getting my eyebrows waxed, and giving myself manicures) I fail to see how this is an FML. I'll take him!! Bring on the all nighter playing WoW!!! :)
ryan4919 0
and that is why people like you go for about 2 quarters at an auction.
pooponyuou 0
and that's why you with your slightly cocked baseball cap and Justin bieber hair trying just too hard to be badass, will never get laid.
hobosareawesome 0
I'm watching that right now lol.
mexipunker 0
Agree with 38. Shut your hole and suck it up you whinny bitch.
Jennypentaru 0
At least he'd never forget your birthday. Rock on, lovely nerd!