Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
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Top comments
wallandpiece 16
Go and chew on his power tools.
lalalanono 8
Sanatize it and move on with your life.
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Comments (77)
Bemilu 4
Its a habbit that people tend to forget about, I doubt they did it on purpose..just wash it off and move on..
Mikeskinner 7
Piss on his tools mate.
CaughtTheMermaid 5
Wow I'm so sorry to hear that! I know how that feels. Sometimes it's not even a pen(like seriously someone tried chewing on my calculator LOL)
InAmbrose 5
I have never even heard of Parker pens but that's messed up. And I go with Papermate Inkjoys! God, they are amazing!!! And affordable!
kikiray 3
Hopefully he was a hot construction worker :) but I mean it is just a pen....
Mearemoi 14
Well, seeing as OP is a man, I don't think it matters if the construction worker was hot or not (unless OP's gay, but then it'll still be gross, haha.) Parker pens a pretty expensive...
boparunsxc 5
First world problems.
SingWishLove 0
Happens to me all the time.
VintagePenMan 3
Like any collectable/antique there is a very large community of fountain pen users out there. I have made my living for the past 15+ years restoring and selling vintage fountain pens. I 100% understand the OP's frustration. For those of you that say a pen is a pen, you are so very very wrong. In writing, there is no better feeling that wet ink being laid down on quality paper. Using a FP forces you to slow down and focus on what you are writing enhancing the experience. Every vintage pen will have a different feel/balance/nib style and volume of ink it releases to the page. Even the same model pen, with the same nib will be slightly different because of how the original owner (and those after them) used it. If your interested in fountain pens take a look at this message board. Thefountainpencommunity.com. You can buy a decent user 'starter' FP for +/- $20-50 or so. Make no mistake, there are some pens out there worth hundreds and thousands of dollars. FP's have been around since1898 and there are quite literally hundreds of millions of them out there. In my opinion, the most 'special' pens are those that have been used and owned by family members. They become a tangible link to our past and ancestors. Regarding pen in general, they are one of the most powerful tools ever created. If you think about it, before the invention of digital media, pens were pretty much it. The wrote the great works of literature, wrote and shaped the laws that shape and govern our society. They have written letters from loved ones to far away places bringing news of life, joy or sadness and so much more. So the next time you pick up a pen, even a humble ball point, take a second and consider what an incredible power you hold in your hand. Damn, this turned into quite the ramble. What can I say, I love pens.
candymaker1 0
ydi for spending at least $160 on a ******* pen. dumbass
demo111 2
Parker pens aren't all that expensive. Stop whining and move on!