Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
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Top comments
wallandpiece 16
Go and chew on his power tools.
lalalanono 8
Sanatize it and move on with your life.
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Comments (77)
sambudd14 2
Well when I lent someone MY Parker pen they put it up their bum so think yourself lucky..
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Should have said you didn't have one on you. And what the heck is a Parker pen? A pen is a pen isn't it?
BluntsandBitches 0
It's a pen. Grow up
x20megg10x 1
Its a friggen pen......wow.
SS 31
whether you think so or not, that's vandalism. If you have / can get hold of his contact details then charge him for a new one.
fishereric 1
Who chews on their own pens, let alone someone else's? That sucks.
Breaker132 8
A Parker pen is a high-quality ballpoint pen that can cost between 13 to 200 dollars. So yes, I see OP's reasons to be quite pissed off.
GoldenGrizzly 7
I know I would have been. But never loan things you would be upset if they got broken. Only loan things you don't mind getting destroyed.
Cowhead 0
Was he Mexican or black
sweetcatastroph3 9
it's an expensive pen. i'm sure you were not alone in the place, plus, it was a cafe, i'm sure someone who works there could have let the dude borrow a pen. you could have just said you didn't have one, or said yours just stopped working. for being stupid, YDI.
iHateHippiesToo 6
Wipe it off? Use hand sanitizer? It's not like he dented it (a Parker) with his teeth.