Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML
fartingdogprego tells us more.
Thanks for those that understand! Hubby--great guy, went on this trip to get paternity leave later. Timing just sucks with bedrest (high blood pressure, just precaution, can't drive, walk the dog, clean, cook, work, etc) and a dummy move to give the dog food he's not used to. Texas is too hot to leave him outside. My mom helps in the am before work, and his mom is helping in the pm after work. Cooler with food they are making me and the laptop are making it bearable, and friends/hubby call all the time on the cell. Can get up to use the restroom as needed. Just sucks to be in bed or on the couch with a farting dog and not able to walk him and get some fresh air.
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
JBrownie123 24
5 years on from the original post! How's the kid doing? :-)
AmayaR 12
Why did they show her answer so late and yes, how is the kid doing?
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Comments (217)
rohosoccer08 1
that sucks sorry op pregnancy bed rest I'd hard
rohosoccer08 1
is*
luis420 0
fyl
MissLyneeLee 0
wow,that sucks
JayColt 0
lol that's sucks. glad I'm a male ;) no offense to females though
Trupe 3
Well the guy from old yeller knew what to do. I'm suprised you don't
rohosoccer08 1
what I'm wondering is why ur hubby had to go on a 2 week trip if your obviously probably pretty close to due and having problems therefore on bed rest, I hope someone is there with you op
StopB1tchingYDI 0
what Is bedrest
9shadow9fox9 0
hahaha sorry I can't stop laughing I know how bad those stake dog farts are but I have the ability to escape but you can't so sorry
quent10 0
lol your description iz awesome OP
phreshboi 1
you know how an exploding septic tank smells like?
twinny_sc 13
Such a lovely, considerate husband. Quit your bitching!
Brittneyyyy 7
Ughh dog farts are the worst. Especially for you OP since you can't leave. FYL D:
OliviaNicole 5
That sucks :( I'd kick that dog outta the house. Shoot.
Chaith 16
This is a really well written FML. Instant favourite, haha. :)
spaceboyftw 0
uh oh........silent but deadly, thats the worst kind
2high2type 0
djsjs
SeanFredrick 3
Op send the dog outside. The magic conch said so
SeanFredrick 3
Feed it some tums
buzz18 7
give the dog some competition, but dont torture yourself in the process
JohnGraveline 0
Yay!
987_AMP 0
60 - Your eyebrows look like they're painted on lol.
Butter_Knife 0
....You could just cork up the dogs butt hole :D
the_flirtt 0
ouch
mfmylifesrsly 30
yeah I wanna know why he had to leave sooo badly. also 1 I still way your baby!
the_flirtt 0
it was job related
spaceboyftw 0
flirt, this is ur fml???
mfmylifesrsly 30
91 you look like this guy who was in this lame movie called Spring Break Shark Attack
the_flirtt 0
no 94 hah
spaceboyftw 0
oh. well then how the hell do u know it was job related?! dont give that asshole the benefet of the doubt
the_flirtt 0
hah alrite
lotsologan 2
sounds like a crappy situtation. lol sorry for the lame pun. that sucks big time. at least the gasses may make you pass out eventually...
mdubai 1
hey selena where r u from? u seem to be soooooo hot :)
kidsanchez1 4
95 aren't you that girl who dated the guy here named blue(something I can't remember) your name looks like it I think
pingpongpenguin 3
people date over fml? woww
suppressed08 2
the OP had her treat 9 months ago XD
mfmylifesrsly 30
120 - yeah we're still dating
paradocs7 0
have ups come pickup and crate the dog and send dog to husband asap. he deserves the present. best wishes.
kidsanchez1 4
127 well I hope you stay happy and I saw your profile and happy b-day
jadedwaitress 0
FYL for having to be on bedrest. I had to spend 8 months on bedrest because of a medical condition. it's great until the second or third day
calichick579 0
fag
FarSide 23
So just how the **** would you HELP STOP the putrid dog farts if you were well?
cheergirly16 0
126 winn:)
FarSide 23
@9: I'm reasonably certain that the dog will realize that his asshole does not smell so bad after all, and will go back to licking it clean.
00yoda4 0
ahhhh that's the stuff. yum yum
nightELFassasin6 0
it's not that bad stop bitching this isn't an fml at all. my dog sleeps on my bed and she's got the worst farts everyday all day and u don't see me posting an fml. ur making it into a big deal it really isn't so stfu
baderier 6
damn 177.... no need to flip the **** out....
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
177: A) You're presumably not preggo, so smells probably don't bother you like they do to a lot of pregnant women, and B) you can kick your dog out or move if it becomes unbearable. She can't. So kindly STFU.
QuickNslicK23 0
168 - is your name chelsea straub?
pingpongpenguin 3
don't give out people's full names on fml!! now she's gonna get stalked.
rebbee 0
It just means you need to rest in bed for a length of time during a pregnancy. It is sometimes ordered by the doc due to complications, like risk of losing the baby or a premature birth due to too much activity.
foxette2297 2
agreed.
fartingdogprego 0
yea! rock on!
Twig_Man 0
kick the ducker out
toptopshifty93 0
ewwww that sucks..I hate to be you
IIFoxII 0
first ? btw ydi for being dumb
vanessaaaa_fml 0
Exactly what it says, the comment was moderated
illmatic2 16
He has his priorities straight.
selenagirl_fml 0
lmao lol op dot worry.... he'll be back.... with weapons!!!!
selenagirl_fml 0
*don't
the_flirtt 0
that's harsh :(
selenagirl_fml 0
I was JK
the_flirtt 0
ya I figured lol
selenagirl_fml 0
good...
mrgiraffe 0
god just bring it outside how hard can it be
melainie 0
mrgiraffe, youve obviously never been prégnant... its hard as hell.
twinny_sc 13
Mrgiraffe its probably the last few weeks of her pregnancy & she can't move very well probably due to her swollen abdomen or feet or both. Which is why she is on bedrest.
senseofreason 0
then if it's the last few weeks her husband shouldn't have left period, or at least left her alone.
SeanFredrick 3
So she can't eat or use the restroom? WTF!
thisisnotspam 0
Ever think of the posibility of the dog not allowed to be outside? Example: It's too hot, it's thunderstorming/raining or city laws. I would rather have a smelly dog than no dog at all. Just my opinion. :)
SeanFredrick 3
Then lock it in the bathroom or another bedroom. I know it sucks the situation op is in but that part is something easily changerd
tasha_caliente 0
air freshener
miranda2195 0
ew give him some medecin like pepto
acatatemywalrus 1
because either of you would otherwise be able to stop the dogs natural processes, right? ydi for being stupid.
skullbashd 3
shed probaly let the dog out of the room idiot
vanessaaaa_fml 0
@14 No. But it could've been prevented if her husband did feed the dog fat and gristle. WTF! it's a dog it needs to be fed "dog" food. And this a FYL cause she didn't deserve it.
vanessaaaa_fml 0
didn't*
nikkkkkki 0
I feel bad for the dog too :( poor doggy