Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
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Top comments
mclovin55 0
sex and food! that's all we think about!;:
KaintukeeBob 13
You misheard. He said, "bugger". You should have rolled over and spread your cheeks =D
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Comments (114)
sphillips5319 0
I read somewhere that the brain registers sexual stimulus in much the same as it does when enjoying some good num nums.
Zmeilerr 22
Tell him he can eat your burger.
OhBehaveAustin 0
Really? Is this that much of a big deal to share over the internet?
rety1 13
don't feel bad... I'd shoot someone to get a big greasy cheeseburger right now. men eating cheeseburgers is the equivalent of women going shopping..
fearfulsymmetry 1
That's it, I hereby ban all of FML's that start with, "My boyfriend/girlfriend did something completely inappropriate/borderline humorous during sex." Shut the **** up. I'm getting tired of it.
phatdaddy62 23
Did you offer him a taco?
IneffableLullaby 13
It sucks that you can't keep your fiance's attention in bed, OP. Try some new things next time? Experimentation usually leads to good results in bed. :p
CaptainJ1000 1
Clearly, you must be bovine in appearance.
DaveOnDope 4
His minnieme is a microme.
LemonBerryCrunch 0
haha im guilty of the same, i just crave a cig after :)