Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML
Today, my boyfriends mom walked in on us having sex. She is partially blind so she couldn’t tell what was going on. She had a full conversation while he was still inside me. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML
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Top comments
DEADPOOL076 30
Look mom, I'm a big boy now. There's a real, live girl in my bed!
darshini_ii 24
Such a dutiful young boy you got there.
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Comments (16)
DEADPOOL076 30
Look mom, I'm a big boy now. There's a real, live girl in my bed!
Koren55 5
A Girl? I thought his husband was a guy.
Koren55 5
A Girl? I thought his husband was a guy.
species4872 20
Read it again!
darshini_ii 24
Such a dutiful young boy you got there.
species4872 20
"Of course she's naked, you wanted grand kids didn't you?"
Cali 57
Good one!
Cynical_1 26
Unless he was pointing the phone at you I can't honestly see what the problem is. Now if he had answered the call during sex then you'd have something to be upset about.
skippydoda 32
The husband could've waited until the clothes were back on.
sparkleboob 2
At least it wasn't during!
jcash52426 5
You always answer a call or a FaceTime call from your mother if not she will most likely come over or send the police because she will think something is wrong.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Um not if she understands you're an adult and has boundaries. Could you imagine that call? Mom- "I'd like to get a well-being check on my son." Police- "ok when did you last see or hear from him?" Mom- "well I tried to FaceTime him once today and he didn't answer, I'm so worried." Police- ??
RichardPencil 32
No problem, its FaceTime! You've got nothing to worry about until Apple adds the BoobTime feature. (Fingers crossed for iOS 11)
dreaddeadpirate 6
are you serious
jaydoo 6
Was mom turned on to see you glowing?
da_epic_failman 7
Who are you dating?! Sterling Archer??