Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
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Top comments
Miller_Time 0
See, that's just really, really awkward. Like in the way you never want anything to be.
Shadic 0
Why'd he answer the phone?
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Comments (91)
damnn_it 0
your boyfriend must be pretty lame
GameRater01 0
Hahaha, he sounds like a keeper
Glickstick 0
You should have used your ****** teeth to cut his penis off.
stolen_sammich 0
lol...she must have been so proud!
thebigO_fml 0
It could have been worse I suppose....even though I'm not quite sure how yet.
mrcarmine 0
LMAO so what, talk to the woman, help the guy out. and maybe it wasn't his mom. he might have just said that so you didn't get mad that he was ACTUALLY talking to an ex, and that's why he wanted to put you on the phone. :cue dramatic music:
cherl 0
#14 totally agree! =)
TEAZO 0
was he ugly? coz if his mom thought he couldn't get any. she must thing hes ugly. haha
whaddup_sir 0
BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA this made my day
shykneejess 0
LMAO. This is hilarious. Was he hideous? lol Aw, well i'm sure you made his moms day.