Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sarcasm_ftw 0
be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now
AmberHall 2
Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
imkendra 0
I don't think it's good practice to insult a woman when you're inside her. Telling her to shut up and that her moans are "pig noises" is not a good way to ensure you'll have sex with her again.
jessxoxo28 5
LOL!!!!!!!!! ok, im sorry, but thats hilarious!!!! lol!!! at least he was honest.... lol!!!!!
zimmo 0
Could be he had a 'Deliverance'-like experience and pig noises freak him out...or he could just be a prude.
caprica_fml 0
That's one way to kill the mood.
jillz 0
You seem very eager to please the boys. Perhaps he could have found better uses for your mouth that would have left your noisy self "speechless". YDI - keep your nasty mouth shut
lm_wfc 0
very good #10 *applause*
irawk 0
hahahahahahahahhahah. That sucks! Somehow, I imagine you looking like Miss Piggy from The Muppet Show!!
scorpioserpent 1
FYL if that is your natural moaning but YDI if you were faking and making fake obnoxious sounds
JonReb 0
**** him, seriously. He shouldn't control what noises come to you naturally.
SherwoodSpirit 0
"Today I was having great sex with a girl who was loving it, and I was a total jerk to her so she kneed me in the groin, broke my dick and kicked me out. FML"