Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
thundermoo tells us more.
thundermoo 16
OP here, I don't buy my own because I don't have a job. I'm a full time college student and I provide at-home care for my father, who can barely walk due to peripheral vascular disease.
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
Dusty_Cups 30
Why aren't you buying your own batteries? If you want things to be discrete then you have to take the first step in making it that way. Also, try re-chargeable batteries if it's really that big of a problem.
1991stealth 21
Buy some batteries so he won't catch on.
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Comments (51)
1991stealth 21
Buy some batteries so he won't catch on.
moonlight77 28
So replace the batteries then, and he won't ask. Sorry Op, but you deserved this one.
MrsDruidess 23
I have to agree, if you're taking batteries out of other things in the house to get your vibe on, not only do you have a problem, but you also deserve the comments. Maybe he's not so clueless and wants you to pay for your own ******.
Higamalia 19
He's just not catching your vibe...
Thegoofygoober 15
that's some shakey shit man
okudatwo 11
You got me good, #3. ?
crudeandrudeguy 29
Just tell him "You see, when a girl and a battery operated boy fall in love..."
yearoftheidiots 5
There are no babies involved.
captainsmegma 12
Missus just bought a new one of those vibrating weenies at one of those slutty Tupperware ***** parties events. has a usb charger. Perhaps you can find a similar event near you.
lulinator 40
Lol, slutty Tupperware ***** parties. That was classic.
Fenbrae 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I believe there is a thing like that, but it's called an upperdare party, not tupperware :p
Mauskau 36
You can also buy ones with mains chargers or that are actually powered by the mains. They're apparently much more powerful.
laden_swallow09 35
Nah, 24. Two-stroke gas power is the way to go!
ThrottleJockey 36
Nah, gotta go with the Hemi.
OxfordPictionary 10
And probably way louder
Dusty_Cups 30
Why aren't you buying your own batteries? If you want things to be discrete then you have to take the first step in making it that way. Also, try re-chargeable batteries if it's really that big of a problem.
kiaora_fml 11
Agreed, she should buy her own batteries to be discreet, Bad idea to buy rechargeable batteries though as it can shorten the life of the product, not good for sex tpys.
anlong93 9
13, really? I hadn't heard that! It's all I use... time to make a change, lol.
bellydancer82 15
I agree. Not to mention, they make chargeable toys- no batteries involved & they typically are nice enough to last a long time without breaking.
HoboMeth 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get a man?
jbuckets_404 39
#10: It means "not gettin' any" - but OP didn't state whether that's voluntary or involuntary.... :-(
MandieL 27
It would be my guess that it is not by choice. Otherwise I would assume she would use the word abstinent.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Lots of people use celibate as absinant. Also I used to use up batteries a lot, too. And my mom knew why lol...
amsterdamgirl 20
like you? I'd rather only use vibratory for the rest of my life.
cho_bee 9
That's funny! Oh wait, was that a joke?
ever_enthralled 19
Sounds like it's time to switch to rechargeable batteries.
jmledford 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if you're not using them and are indeed celibate, he must not be making you mom very happy.
yerawizardlizzy 27
You really don't understand what's going on.
UndeadCity9 19
You're right he doesn't know but he does know that OP is using celibate wrong.
jamieblue6 16
same tbh xD