Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML
Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was sobbing hysterically as she told me that I was getting a pay raise was because I was going to the vet to have my sick and dying cat put down. Good news at a bad time. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Today, I was the designated emotional support person for my friend's mom as she went to have her sick cat put down. The cat was aggressive towards the male vet. She said, "She doesn't like men" to which the vet replied, "Well, soon that won't be a problem." The willpower it took both of us to not yell at him, or worse… FML
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Top comments
LadyClarik 8
Was it take your drunk girlfriend to work day? It it was, I'd say you had a smashing success.
skittlestrailmix 14
I guess that she didn't know cats that aren't fixed can get their periods.
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Comments (88)
if2013 10
Yolo
skittlestrailmix 14
To guess she didn't know that cats can get periods if they aren't fixed...
skittlestrailmix 14
sorry I wrote this comment twice and can't delete it...
oj101 33
YOLO isn't useful for anything, except for when you're explaining to someone that swimming with alligators isn't the greatest idea, or making the cardinal sin of misplacing your for you're on YouTube or commenting "that's a shitty situation" when a turd-related FML is published.
LadyClarik 8
Was it take your drunk girlfriend to work day? It it was, I'd say you had a smashing success.
HollyDolly660 8
I think this is a big fat YDI for taking your drunk girlfriend to your job... Nothing good can come of that.
Pwib 14
Unless she came of her own free will?
revan546 24
Cats actually do have periods, they just go through the estrous cycle not the menstrual cycle, so the endometrium of the uterus isn't shed it's re-absorbed, hence no blood.
anitadoody 7
Well, it's your girlfriend. You can dump her, talk to her or pretend nothing happend. You have three options, choose wisely.
terrykayez 6
Oh the pressure...
Codezlol 21
This is Fml. We all know the only real option is to obviously leave her. Lol
tsent8 15
He chose poorly.
outoftown 27
Option 4: get her a ride home, immediately. The other three can wait.
skittlestrailmix 14
I guess that she didn't know cats that aren't fixed can get their periods.
Sputnikspak 13
Which is a pretty good reason to fix a cat, I've seen (and heard) a cat in heat while working at an animal rescue. They sound miserable. And the world has MORE than enough homeless cats. Dogs get it too, if they aren't fixed, and larger dogs especially tend to bleed enough that you have to put something on them while they're in the house (a Great Dane breeder I know uses generic 'Depends' diapers with holes cut in them for the tail - poor things look ridiculous. But she breeds her dogs *properly*, after three litters they're done, and if they're also done on the show circuit, then she fixes them. And all non-show quality dogs - generally the ones she sells as pets - are fixed, it's in her contract when you buy one of her dogs and she WILL follow up - legally she can take the dog back if you don't comply. Which definitely helps weed out backyard breeders and puppy mill people).
poccocurantes 7
And they leave little spots all over the furniture.
Migole 36
First thing I thought as well... I've seen both cats and dogs getting their period. Should've thrown that in this stupid girl's face.
pradip 26
Guess all the ******* were pretty pissed off.
terrykayez 6
It's hit or miss with you pradip.
twinkiefeets 17
And most are misses.
berichsoon 11
That's true, but I give the guy credit to for not quitting
igive 29
Like the small kid who keeps getting the crap beat out of him, but alas! He does not give up.
KyaKiller_ 7
You tried, but failed. Maybe next time.
DocBastard 40
It could have been worse - she could have decided to have some drunken fun with the gerbils.
allard 14
I feel the need to bust out to Superman by Eminem..
Steve95401 49
Doc - I thought only Richard Gere got off with gerbils.
tsent8 15
Uh why exactly?
poccocurantes 7
Apparently she lives with Richard Gere
shaniahthecurlyl 6
I think this is more her FML.. 'Today, I got really drunk and started shouting at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that the cat was in a pet store. Of which one of the employees was my boyfriend. He saw the whole thing. FML' :)
bwzwally8 15
WTF would you bring her to your work idiot. That's when you call in sick to watch her SHM.
Xquisite1 28
Where does it say that he took her to work with him? It's very possible that she went to his job on her own accord. And why should he call out sick and miss time from work because his girlfriend got wasted?
bwzwally8 15
It does not say that. It would be nice to watch her and make sure she is safe. To be a good boyfriend that's why.
Xquisite1 28
Exactly! It doesn't say that, however you assumed that OP voluntarily took her to work with him and you called an idiot for supposedly doing so. And if she is old enough to drink then she should be old enough to deal with the repercussions. No one should have to miss work for that.
addicted2_FML 6
Please tell me this is sarcasm in a really good disguise...
niallo 23
She's his girlfriend, not his wife. If he left his job because she was drunk, he soon wouldn't have one.
eggmarie 25
27: it's not like she's sick with the flu. SHE made the decision to get drunk off her ass so why should HE have I take care of her? I would never ask my boyfriend to miss work because I made a bad decision.
berichsoon 11
I don't think 27 is being sarcastic. Based on her other comments about the subject, she lives in a fantasy world far from reality.
gracehi 33
If she was a good girlfriend, she wouldn't allow her partying to interfere with his job.
SirCharles83 13
If one of my employees called out sick for that reason, they would be looking for a new job as well. Work should certainly be a priority over a wasted girlfriend and almost everything else.
80skid 15
27, if OP's girlfriend VOLUNTARILY gets drunk and goes to his job, makes a fool of herself and threatens his employment, he doesn't have to cater to her. She chose to get drunk.
poccocurantes 7
Dump her! *shots fired*. Maybe showing up drunk at your work particularly if it is in the middle of the day signals a drinking problem or worse dumbbitchitis which I think is incurable.
bwzwally8 15
k
oj101 33
That'll give your co-workers something to talk about at the water cooler...
nickob96 25
That's embarrassing