Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
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Top comments
balex_fml 0
Hey that's not bad. It's very annoying when people talk in the movies!
Amrel 10
No you are not i would've done it too
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Comments (188)
balex_fml 0
Hey that's not bad. It's very annoying when people talk in the movies!
Max24KB 0
you know your a redneck if you drive a covered wagon lmfao
balex_fml 0
Haha na it's not mine my friend had a western party thing
Sweej 1
I'd say the only thing that was bad is that OP did not give her a warning... And if she did, she should have mentioned it in the FML.
hiinorcal209 0
true
ReptarSwag 4
I would of mollywopped her
NoodleBurger 0
Thats HILARIOUS! I love ops wording.
awesomeooo3 0
Fair enough I think. If she was annoying OP that much, she was most likely annoying many other people around.
CookieMonstr19 0
This isn't an FML for you! This should be an FML for her!
TrickyDeath 14
I feel like OP should have asked her to quiet down first. My beloved Aunt was having failure with several functions and we took her to the movies/dinner before admitting her to the hospital. She laughed and made strange noises like every other line during the movie, luckily there wasn't anyone else in the theatre but still. Maybe you don't know the situation. Even if it was purposeful, at least you'd given the jerk a warning so you knew they were being a jerk. But if it was an innocent offender I'd feel awful.
brutal_banger 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Meh, shoulda rimmed her ass insted
HowAreYouToday 34
No, no you don't...
Pixxio_O 11
The dying horse bit must've been disturbing... 0.0
HowAreYouToday 34
I'd have slapped her
AaronTkr 0
i wish i was a movie theater attendant. swagg.
LordGoober 13
How is this a FML?
anorexicbarbie 8
79 Please read the rules about commenting.
LaughinStock 16
Silence is Golden :) they say it before every movie
QwertyMcNugget 0
"Braying like a dying horse." I can't stop laughing! XDDD
prince122 0
that cat looks like he's waiting for head.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
So that was the noise I heard a few seats over...thx u OP u did a wonderful thing vc I was about get up and smack...no joke
HowAreYouToday 34
1 changed his comment!!!
zendaddy0 0
you did the right thing
kyarush 10
LOL that's what anyone wishes they could do and you had the power... For that second... You were god!
CattyPurry 0
"Silence is golden." ...so is duct tape(:
glenzhao2 16
Actually, duct tape is silver...
yourkindacool18 5
first of all, the phrase is, "silence is golden.. duct tape is silver." second of all, i haven't heard that phrase since 5th grade.
KnucklesDeep 5
I would have done the same thing. You did nothing wrong.
agentx52 13
It goes like this: Silence is golden, duct tape is silver, pipe is copper.
Pixxio_O 11
I have a question... What do you do with the pipe?
IStillReadBooks 8
Hit them over the head with it until they shut up.
seanders 10
Or shove the pipe in naughty places.
abbiesaprincess 0
l
EvilCupcake8361 9
yes..yes you are OP. you can go die in a hole now:)
destroyer713 0
bull shit duct tape is silver
Friaza 29
Ductape is silver...and if worst comes to worst, a rusty crowbar is bronze.
ViperFreak 3
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver, a bullet is bronze.
drewcat21 0
41. Due to you using swag in your sentence I have no choice but to assume you're a major douche.
The_ghetto_mango 25
No, @200, it's silence is golden, duct tape is silver, and the skin of your victims is bronze.
GenericUsername1 4
Um a bullet is brass steel or maybe silver coated
Amrel 10
No you are not i would've done it too
CryMoreFMLs 15
She's the real awful person in this FML. Horses are terrible people, and she was pretending to be a dying one. No class whatsoever.
livlafluv100 2
hey! don't be hatin on horses!
chiddy_bang71 0
Your partner had disconnected.
Zoydude 0
OP shall be the one to lead our nation.
X_Codes 11
I agree with #3. You misspelled awesome.
lindon555 0
I'm guessing Sarah Jessica Parker was at the theater
Rach227 8
I say ydi because you feel bad, I'd find it annoying too but it's not a fyl for feeling bad it was a choice you made...
shihan123 0
helo
kingeorge101 0
You take this shut to seriously
nocomment1 3
iPhone fail, but I totally agree about this not being and FML
shanie123 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that seems a bit harsh
GigaPudding_fml 24
I agree, I like people that laugh, they make me laugh! :) And even if it annoys you, can't you just be happy about the fact that she's really enjoying the movie?
LKadrian 0
****
NecroParade 3
70, what's better, one person enjoying a movie or a room full of people enjoying it? If they can't stay reasonably quiet, they shouldn't be there.
TKello 6
But it's not like the woman was talking, she was simply laughing. Maybe to her the movie was funny and she couldn't keep it in. You go see movies to make yourself feel good, and laughing is a way to do just that. I'm sorry but I don't think what OP did was right, and if I was the woman I would have been very upset. You're lucky she didn't report you to your boss, you could've lost your privilege of being able to sit in the theater during the movie.
swasticop 0
No, it is not harsh. That lady was probably annoying the hell out of the majority of the theater anyway. OP did everybody a favor.
dreamer2526 0
it would be very annoying, especially if it was after every other line like OP said. that makes it very hard to focus on the movie and follow the dialogue. People don't pay 7+ dollars to not know what is going on in the movie.
conan13_fml 0
there is a point when some people laugh too much or too loud, and it begins to bother people. If I was OP I would have asked her to quite down first. That said, I prefer drive in's, you can laugh loud and talk with out driving other people nuts.
mahomie97 7
well said my friend!(:
Weetart 8
#91, when you go to watch a movie in a public setting, you should be considerate and mindful of the people surrounding you. It's common sense. If you plan on laughing like a dying horse as Op had stated, then wait to watch it when it comes out on DVD or pirate the movie. I'm sure if one person is annoyed with her laughter, then you can be sure many other people are. Hell, if I was Op I wouldn't be quite happier to kick her ass out of the theatre. There's a reason as to why before every movie starts, they make it point to turn your cellphones off and to be quiet.
DalekScythe 0
yeah don't feel bad OP, someone would have complained eventually anyways.
omgcookeys 15
It's not harsh if she was actually "braying like a dying horse" the whole time
lilbeast0327 3
No
lalalandohyeah1 4
#6 You must've been the woman that got kicked out...
lovemybabyxxx 0
If you think that's harsh, you must be one of those annoying people that laugh in the movies...just sayin
mgsoloist 14
There have been worse theatre attendants. This one lady kicked us out for having our feet on the back of the seat in front of us despite the fact that we were in an empty theatre. You did good my friend.
nik100 0
hey seeing if this is a message
almighty_zer 5
Empty seat = footrest to me
Jaxx66 21
Agreed. I always make sure to sit some place with an empty seat in front of me.
PhantomReb333 6
Its good, she was some annoying ******* **** dude. who gives a ****
WCARlover 35
Wow overreact much? I didn't realize having an obnoxious laugh made a person a c***?
rattusrattus 19
Then according to my mother, I'm a c***. Yippee!!! *sarcastic glare*
WCARlover 35
I didn't know Sarah Jessica Parker went to movie theaters.
waschaffer 5
why do u think they don't sell carrots in theatres... to keep that horse face out
DabegotWorld 5
ZINGER! lol i hate her
omg_a_BALLOON 0
Everyone goes to movie theaters you dumbass
purplefatmidget 0
146 I hope u ******* die it's a ******* joke you dumb shit bastard
jacksonclarke 0
You didn't know Sarah Jessica Parker, a film actor, watched movies? 200,000 sperm and you were the first one to the egg?
cradle6 13
187-You're not very perceptive. The joke is that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. (which is true anyway).
laurenv20 4
Lmfao! Nice one xD
purrfume 0
I hate how mean people are...
cmyk 19
I think you've done well! Should be more like you. Think everyone in the cinema was well happy you threw her out.
tucansam555 3
Wouldve done it too