Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML
Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML
Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML
Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML
Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML
Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML
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Top comments
kaylizs 20
Any dream about Chris Pratt is a wet dream.
jet223 20
Well it depends on what you were sucking on. It could have still been a sexy dream.
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Comments (66)
alchemist27 13
There's no negatives when it comes to chris Pratt
lilpsyco 16
So when did the raptors show up?
Jefffz 13
Tell him at least you didn't live in The Pit
StormGirl142 24
All I can imagine is Andy Dwyer throwing skittles at you and laughing.
Greattitan2 13
At least it wasn't Donald Trump
berkeleyjake 13
I have sex dreams with Sarah Silverman where she insults me constantly and tells me how much I suck. its really hot when she does it
Dean__Winchester 16
I was expecting a Raptor to be mentioned somewhere to be honest
idxntgiveafxck 17
Chris Pratt is babe
itszdm 4
That's how all the pornos start out.
oceanbrickfire 21
So I'm guessing everything wasn't awesome. I'll leave now