Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me if I had become overweight. He replied that yes, I had, but that it was OK because I was his "Lumpy Space Princess." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
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Top comments
kkmwong 11
You should have said the same thing about his dick.
mickeygirl 0
"well , did ur dick get smaller, or am I thinking of my ex- boyfriend?"
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Comments (169)
bubo_fml 11
When in doubt, always go for the tried & true, obligatory penis size retaliatory insult...
nebo98 1
Or better than kick his ass, his balls?
Okayitwasme 0
His vision sucks! So does his educate.
KateWesley44 0
ask him the same. :)
cuddlekins 0
Next time you see him naked you should ask him did you dick get smaller or did you gain weight around it
cuddlekins 0
Next time you see him naked you should ask him did you dick get smaller or did you gain weight around it
Seduisant 7
I feel your pain );
chickenpie90 16
:/
lucyinthesky420 10
I don't understand... If you gained weight, your boobs would get larger, not smaller. O.o
pere 11
You should have looked him in the eyes and said, "I dunno babe, did your penis shrink or has it always been that small?"