Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML
Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I'd left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I'd left my phone on the hotel counter. FML
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Rest assured, they've seen weirder things left behind. Like a dead hooker's body.
jamielusions 19
Sorry but YDI for not checking all your stuff correctly before leaving. I suggest you make a list with everything you took when booking a hotel, then scratching it off of the list when you pack it back up. Also, I think I would be incredibly paranoid over leaving a vibrator in a hotel.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
Lobby_Bee 18
Rest assured, they've seen weirder things left behind. Like a dead hooker's body.
8313girl 28
So reassuring lol
Kurliez408 32
check after yourself next time in order to avoid forgetting a CELLPHONE. ydi
sparklevibes 14
I work at a hotel, and hey, that stuff happens. Don't sweat it, OP!
jamielusions 19
Sorry but YDI for not checking all your stuff correctly before leaving. I suggest you make a list with everything you took when booking a hotel, then scratching it off of the list when you pack it back up. Also, I think I would be incredibly paranoid over leaving a vibrator in a hotel.
RichardPencil 32
If they have nothing in common, you lack imagination!
lucasjames22 8
what's the fml here? I don't get it.
Gwengreen 6
The cell phone yes, but the rest? Who knows *where* the vibrator has been, probably no where butt...
tibtak01 8
Somehow I have the feeling that the used batteries and the vibrator actually DO have something to do with each other
LuneeTune 15
Thank goodness you found those used batteries!