Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
again??? how many times has this happened before?!
BadApple88 29
Be more specific next time
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Comments (90)
Dave_Davington 34
I feel that this person has another, far more interesting FML that she could possibly share.
hamzor 5
"Today, I fell into the toilet. Again. FML." Why wasn't this one submitted first?
thelittlemissy 29
He's your boyfriend, you don't have to hint it, just say you're horny!
91hayek 31
Straight forward and direct. Nice.
little_one1 14
That doesn't work with MY boyfriend. Nothing does. Idk if it's his dick or his brain but one of the two, possibly both, are broke.
jessyZ123 0
Youre fat
katties 27
You DO know he can't hear HOW you're saying it through a text, right? Say "I really need you" with a neutral voice, add the fact that you might have used the same sentence when you wanted him to help you out of the toilet, and voilà, it's not strange at all that he thinks you're in the toilet again. Really, that sentence could mean so many things
DanielleinDC 34
Where does it say OP texted her boyfriend? She just said told, and it could be she told him on the phone, and he replied with a question about her falling in the toilet again. Which makes me wonder how many times OP has fallen in the toilet and if someone in her home leaves the seat up. Of course, in 30-plus minutes, OP's mood could change, and her boyfriend rushes over for nothing.
underthesea12 24
why isn't the fact that you fell in the toilet the FML?
revelation11B 10
Don't you just hate it when you fall into the blue vortex of doom? Don't even get me started on airplane toilets...
DevilsMetsGiants 30
How do you allow that to happen multiple times?
91hayek 31
I would have wanted to hear the inflection at which he said that. I just read it as if he was excited and giddy with anticipation for your tumble into the toilet, as if he was into some freak shit like that. Not judging, just sad it wasn't what I thought.
sweetbliss3 37
Is this a regular occurrence that he just automatically assumed you fell in the toilet? A simple "hey come over I'm horny" would have done just fine, I'm sure.
The_Khan 12
And the reply to that would be : -No, but it does involve pumbing.