Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mauskau 36
always put knives in blade down
emmaleeislamee 0
Wow, you're mum seems like such a nice lady.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
Independantlove 0
lol aren't knives supposed to be put in the dishwasher with the point down O:-) fail at looking OP hehehehe ps: 23- You fail. lol that was the WORST fail at YDI evvvverrrrr ;D
bankrupt 15
We have no proof that OP loaded the dishwasher, and if someone else did so, OP would be unaware of how the dishes were loadd. This is something my mother did to me when I was a kid. She was the QUEEN of loading knives sharp-side up. It was a minefield to unload the dishwasher. Despite this knowledge I did get cut once, when I was about 8. She threw the mother of all temper tantrums at me, claiming I had done it deliberately because I was "a lazy piece of shit" and wanted to get out of doing chores (BTW, nice way to talk to a second grader). Gee, I just loved getting stitches! SO worth it. Fortunately for her, the stitches were in my right hand and I am left handed, so I was still able to scrub out the bathroom for her. Some mothers are just a-holes and that's that.
Independantlove 0
O.o *starts singing* Awwwwwh freak out . do do de dum dun. ;) that sounds horrible! but at the same time its humorous >:3
DocBastard 40
Damn, bankrupt, I'm sorry for you and your upbringing. Seriously, that's messed up. I hope that if I ever even think of treating my daughter that way that my wife would beat the stupid out of me.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*psst* bankrupt, check yer PMs.
Xavi89 0
sucks for you.
fmltiligothigh 0
this sounds just like another fml, this is fake
StJimmy117 0
hmmm
omgwtf99 13
owww that made my fingers hurt just reading that. hope it gets better soon, that sounds painful :)
FYLDeep 26
That's actually pretty stupid. I could understand of it was just a knife in some arbitrary location of the dishwasher, but no. You were emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher, just an entire section where everything happens to be sharp, and you still managed to be careless enough to cut yourself. You might need to work on your risk assessment skills.
S3xualyAttractiv 0
LOL Risk Assessment for operating a DISHWASHER!!!
anonymous1109 4
ydi, you're not supposed to put those kind of knives in the dishwasher.
BoCo_fml 9
Steak knives are fine to put in the dishwasher.
waywick 0
that's why you put the sharp (pointy) end down, old sock...
danica45 7
ur mom is prbs just nwrvou bout what hapened